Top Ten Funny Graduation Quotes

These are my top ten picks for funny graduation quotes. All of them are funny and also have to do with graduation. The Dr. Seuss quote which Goes with the theme of going into a brave new world...meeting new aliens and....OK, so maybe your not going to meet new aliens in strange new worlds, but hey, you can at least have a snazzy quote for that speech.

To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you too may one day be president of the United States.
- George Bush

People will frighten you about a graduation....They use words you don't hear often... "And we wish you Godspeed." It is a warning, Godpeed. It means you are no longer welcome here at these prices.
- Bill Cosby

The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.
- Doug Larson

Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.
- Garry Trudeau

You cannot get to the top by sitting on your bottom.
- Proverb

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.
- Robert Orben

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.
You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
You are the guy who'll decide where to go.
- Dr. Seuss

Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.
- Gary Bolding

Without education we are in a horrible and deadly danger of taking educated people seriously.
- G.K. Chesterton

At commencement you wear your square-shaped mortarboards. My hope is that from time to time you will let your minds be bold, and wear sombreros.
- Paul Freund