Top Ten GIft Ideas for Your Annoying Neighbors

Okay… we all have them, or have had them at some point…annoying neighbors. Thankfully, at the moment I am doing okay in the neighbor department. On one side are some friends that we get along with great. On the other side, the neighbors are such a non entity that though I have seen coming and going there for nearly two years, I wouldn't know them to see them in the grocery store. I have no idea how many people live in the house and I really don't care. They don't bother me and I don't bother them. I have it pretty good...for now. Someday though, I know that once again I will need this arsenal of gifts, and since those people aren't living near me anymore, maybe they are living near you. (Oh crap… I just had a horrible thought. What if I am the annoying neighbor?) Anyhow… Here are some great gift ideas for your annoying neighbors.

1) A free trip to visit some far away boarding schools. What? It'll be good for their little tykes.

2) A clock. Apparently they don't know what time it is when blaring their music at 11:30 at night or honking their horn at seven a.m.

3) The 'leave me alone' tool kit- Comes complete with a ladder, a pair of hedge-trimmers, a bionic wrench, and a circular saw. Now they won't keep yours until spring. They'll have their own. If you are feeling frisky, you might even consider attaching a hook to a pole for them...great for detaching those Christmas lights come July.

4) The 'leave me alone' kitchen kit- Comes complete with 'just' one egg, 'just' one onion, 'just' one cup of sugar, 'just' a cup of peanut butter, and 'just' a cup of Mayo.

5) Curtains- 'Nuff said. Ew!

6) A lawn mower and weed whacker- They apparently can't afford such extravagances.

7) A picture of the property line- They seem to have forgotten where it is.

8) Someone else's phone number they can call- For when they need to run to the store, but don't want to drag their kids along.

9) Ear phones- Those are some pretty cool speakers. Let's not overuse them. They work best during august when I am away on vacation.

10) A bathrobe- In case the curtains don't go with their chosen 'décor'. Besides, Curtains aren't much good when the guy ducks out for his morning paper.

There you have it… the Top ten gift ideas for your annoying neighbors this Holiday season.