Top Ten Gift Ideas for Your Favorite Waitress

Now, the type of gift you get her kind of depends on what exactly your relationship is with her, and what you want it to be. Do you know her well? Do you not know her well, but want to know her well? Are you only friends? Or do you sense that you could be more than friends? Have you never spoken to her? These are the kinds of questions that you must ask yourself.

For the sake of this list, let's just assume that you know her pretty well, that you have been going to the bar or restaurant for months or more, and that she knows your name and several things about you, and you know the same about her. And let's just say that you do sense something in her and yourself that indicates that there is more than just a friendship brewing. So you want to get her something unassuming, but noticeable. Something impressive, but not offensive. Something that, if it turns out she does want to remain just friends, won't make the relationship awkward, so you don't have to find a new favorite bar or restaurant. Here are some ideas.

10. Movie. Of course, you'll want to tell her that it reminds you of her in some way, either that you thought of her when you saw it, or that you think she'll really like it, or that it's just a great movie that everyone should see. But make sure it actually does in some way remind you of her, in case she asks, or that it is a great movie, that it does have some redeeming value, and it's not something scary, like a movie about a serial killer. That might not go over well. This gift has the opportunity to do wonders; if she likes it, she will understand you to have great taste, and that you have things in common. If not, well, then you might have blown it. So pick carefully.

9. Music. See #10.

8. Book. This is like the two listed above, but a little bit better. Books carry more weight and value than movies and music, in most cases. There is more tradition, and the respect factor is higher. If you can give her a book that she really ends up liking, she will think you very smart, very interesting, and very worthy of more attention and consideration.

7. Wristwatch. You must accompany this with something clever and funny, like, "So you know exactly when you get to get off work." Don't make it a fancy watch, a really cheap watch will do much better. You want it to be sort of a gag gift, but something that is thoughtful, that way she sees that you have a sense of humor, and that you think about her feelings.

6. Slippers. Like #7 but a little bit better, go look for a really soft pair of slippers. They should be cute, comfortable, and kind of sexy, too. You want her to see that you have good taste, that you are thoughtful, and that you are sensitive and playful. You'll want to give the gift with a note that says something like, "Because you're on your feet all day…" She'll laugh, and even if she sees it only as a gag gift, it shows that you do have a sense of humor, and that you have the potential to be sensitive. If she does actually wear the slippers, when she gets off work and home, each time she puts them on she'll think of you - and that's a good thing!

5. Dinner out. A nice thought. She is always waiting on others, so let her be waited on. Don't suggest that you be the one to go with her, though. In fact, you might want to make the certificate just enough for one, so that she sees that you aren't presumptuous. But she deserves to be waited on, and this is a good gift.

4. Massage. Waitresses are always stressed out. They work long hours, run around all day, are always on their feet, have to deal with rude customers. A massage is a great gift for her. Say, "you've looked stressed lately." Chances are she has been. We are all stressed. She will love it, and love you for it. Hopefully.

3. Coffee and cigarettes. Most waitresses inevitably drink coffee and smoke cigarettes. Not only is it part of the bar and restaurant culture, they need it, coffee to stay awake, or wake up in the first place, and cigarettes to calm their nerves. Besides, at some point, being around coffee and cigarettes all day, it seeps into their skin and blood, and becomes a part of them. She will laugh when she opens it, a cute, thoughtful, funny, useful gift. Put them in a little basket decorated nicely, and the image and thought will stay in her mind for a long time. A sure hit. Just make sure that she does in fact intake both products.

2. Bottle of wine. Make sure it's good wine, but not too good. Don't make it seem like you're trying to impress her. You just want her to have something nice. If it's too cheap, she might think you are cheap. If it's too expensive, she might think you're trying to buy her attention. So it should be right in between. But wine usually makes a nice gift, and waitresses often like a drink of something when they get home at 2 a.m. (to, again, calm their nerves). And who knows, maybe she will invite you over for a drink.

1. Puppy. Yes, this one has "awkward" and "disaster" written all over it, but if you look closely, it also has "success" and "bedroom" written all over it as well. It is certainly the wild card of the bunch. But puppies are cute, they make girls happy. They make your day better when they wag their tail. Waitresses often work night shifts, which means she can be with the puppy during the day, and it can sleep at night, when she's gone. It works out nicely in that way. Plus, it makes a great story: you'll forever be the guy who got her the puppy, and you'll forever have a spot in her heart, right next to the puppy. If she likes that story, she'll tell off her friends; you will be immortalized. If she doesn't, if she thinks it's creepy, or un-called for, if she doesn't like dogs, if her apartment doesn't take dogs, etcetera, well, then, I warned you!