Top Ten Gift Ideas for a Friend in a Nursing Home

One of the most traumatic days in a person's life is the day they learn they can no longer take care of themselves and will, most likely, spend the remainder of their days confined to a nursing home.

As visitors bearing gifts to nursing home residents, we need to take several things into consideration before handing them yet another bottle of heavily scented perfume, the latest best-selling novel in print difficult for older eyes to read, or a box of chewy caramel nougat candy for a newly diagnosed diabetic. "Sounds silly," you say? It happens every day.

Here are a few gift ideas that can be adapted to fit the very special person you know who has moved permanently into a nursing home.

1. Music is very important to shut-ins. Ask them about their favorite artists and don't settle for just any music. Seek out what they want to hear. If they prefer diskettes to CD's look for them on the internet. Maybe you can find a small diskette storage unit where you can arrange your friend's collection so it will be easy for him to reach and use.

2. Give them something to share with new friends. After all, the nursing home is your friend's new neighborhood, and he or she will be making all kinds of new friends there. Income may be extremely limited due to the cost of the nursing home so giving your friend something to share with new friends will be very welcome. Since many residents will be on restricted diets, a box of sugar-free cookies or candies, low fat cheese and crackers, and diet sodas should always be welcome.

3. Cut flowers don't take up a lot of space, but brighten up a room and almost always bring cheer. (It might be smart to check first to see that your friend or a roommate is not allergic to the scent of flowers.)

4. If your friend has always enjoyed caring for a garden, a plant that takes a minimum of care might be well-received. One of my favorites around Christmas time is an Amaryllis bulb. These are huge bulbs that are usually already planted in a colorful planter and take only regular watering to grow into a tall, awesome looking plant with huge showy blossoms that will draw admiration from all who see it.

5. Stamps are expensive. Especially to people who find themselves on limited incomes. A roll of 100 stamps is nearly $40, but a roll is much easier to keep track of than the small booklets or loose stamps you get when you buy in lesser amounts. If you don't plan to spend that much on your gift, unroll the roll and count off 25 or 50 stamps and roll them back up. Then go to a local stationery store and buy a decorative stamp dispenser for less than $5. Pop the stamps in, and voila, you have an elegant and useful gift for your friend. Especially if you remembered to ask the postal clerk to give you "pretty" stamps. The last roll I bought were pictures of vegetables. Not very exciting, I'll admit, but often you can get seasonal stamps that are much nicer.

6. Just because a friend is in a nursing home doesn't necessarily mean they are no longer interested in their former hobbies or occupation. Find out if they had particular magazine or newspaper subscriptions that were stopped when they entered the nursing home and reinstate one or more of them. It will not only keep them abreast of the happenings in their field of interest, but give them something more to share with new friends once they have finished the latest issue.

7. Speaking of hobbies, is there a hobby that your friend can continue at the nursing home? It would be difficult for a woodworker to continue to work with heavy equipment they once enjoyed, but perhaps you can show up with a smaller project once a month or so. If necessary, bring along a small folding table and set it up. Then you can work together on assembling a pre-cut birdhouse and painting it, or making clay jewelry you can bake at home and bring back for painting on a later visit. Women who live in nursing homes often continue with sewing, knitting, and crocheting hobbies. These are activities that take up little room and many men also find them enjoyable.

8. Give your friend the gift of a scribe. Many older people lose contact with friends and loved ones because writing becomes difficult for them. Offer your services occasionally to take down what they say and prepare the letter for mailing. To sweeten the offer, stop by a stationery store and pick up a small package of note paper and envelopes that fit the personality of your friend. Or, if you are handy on the computer, you can even personalize some paper yourself. What former pilot wouldn't love to have notepaper with a picture of his very own airplane at the top, or what pet lover wouldn't enjoy notepaper sporting a photo of his or her heading out for a romp?

9. If your nursing home friend is reasonably ambulatory and has a microwave in the room, try a container filled with a variety of little treats to bring some cheer during those down moments. Some flavored tea, a single cup cocoa mix, packets for instant coffee, packaged smoothie mixes, mini-bags of microwave popcorn, small muffin mixes…..the list is endless. If your friend's diet is restricted, be sure to check with a nurse to be sure the food items you include are allowable.

10. Money is scarce for most people who enter a nursing home. Unfortunately they don't suddenly become need-free and desire-free just because they have relinquished their physical care to someone else. If there are vending machines in the building, wrap a roll of quarters and tie a jaunty bow on it for a "just because" gift to assure that your friend can still feel he or she has a little control over that small part of his life. If the nursing home has a store, deposit money in your friend's account so that if they feel like having a haircut, they can have one, or if they want a new book, or to buy a gift for an acquaintance there will be money available for them to do it.

The ten gift suggestions listed above are just that, suggestions. Just because a person moves to a new location, and that location has the title, "Nursing Home," we shouldn't allow that person to think that he has somehow become less of a person, or let him lose any more dignity than he has to. Through frequent visits and gifts, we can help that person realize that, even though he or she may have lost control of some aspects of their lives, they are still a very important part of our lives, and always will be.