Top Ten Mysteries the U. S. Government is Working on Solving

As the BP oil spill approaches fifty days of continuous flow of oil into the Gulf of Mexico, the exact quantity of oil spilled so far, and the daily flow rate, are a mystery that BP would rather not solve. Nonetheless, scientists working for the government are attempting to estimate the flow rate by studying high definition images of the gusher from May, and the results should be in by the end of the week. Here are ten other mysteries that the government is close to finding an answer to:

1. Why Joe Biden always sleeps in a sleeping bag, even when inside the vice president's residence. Long time aides also have noted that the vice president is always ready for a camp out, even going as far as to carry around bug repellent and cans of Hormel chili in a briefcase.

2. How Helen Thomas remained in deep cover as a Nazi sympathizer all these years. Even though she carried around a copy of Hitler's "Mein Kempf" in her briefcase, nobody seemed to notice.

3. Why President Obama likes pie so much. In fact, the White House Chef is ordered to keep at least four dozen brands of pie in stock at all times. In addition, the president's car, Cadillac One, also has an emergency coconut pie kept in a specially chilled compartment that only President Obama knows the code for.

4. Why China is hoarding millions of metric tons of Doritos and nacho cheese dip.

5. Why Kim Jong-Il secretly visits Sea World for a couple hours each year to feed fish to the seals, and the promptly leaves.

6. Why Nancy Pelosi hasn't been seen in public for months and is rumored to be working from an undisclosed location hidden underneath a Starbucks in San Francisco.

7. Why Ronald McDonald is never seen without his make up on. Rumors continue to swirl that the slightly creepy clown is in the government witness protection program and used to work in shipping.

8. Why Brooklyn pizza tastes better than pizza made in other cities, even though the water used to make the dough is "less than pure."

9. What is the best way to detox from an oil addiction.

10. Why did Bill Gates steal the NASA plans for a secret moon base?

Sources:

http://www.nasdaq.com/aspx/stock-market-news-story.aspx?storyid=201006072005dowjonesdjonline000453&title=as-bp-collects-oilmagnitude-of-spill-remains-a-mystery