Top Ten Reasons to Abolish Top Ten Lists

Top ten lists are everywhere! So I figured why not make another one. But then I thought about it. The real question wasn't why not make another one, but why make another one? Why do we need more top ten lists? Type in 'top ten' in the Associated Content search bar, and you'll get back 27,300 articles. That's impressive enough until you type in 'top 10' and get another 24,900 articles. That's over 50,000 top ten lists on AC alone.

Having thought about this longer than a healthy person should, I decided it's time to do something about it. So, here are my top ten reasons to abolish top ten lists.

1. Alliteration
Let's face it. The only reason we have top ten lists is that top and ten start with the same letter. Talk about your Johnny Cochrane arguments. I mean, if the list don't fit, it's not legit makes just about as much sense as putting ten things on a list simply because of its alliterative qualities.

2. Coming Up with Ten Items is Tough
Having written a number of top ten lists myself, I've often found that it's difficult to come up with ten things to include on the list. I guarantee that if there was a catchy way to say top seven or top six, people would do that. I've thought about Superlative Seven or Extraordinary Eight, but nothing has the alliterative allure of top ten. There are lots of subjects that warrant a top 'something' list, but sometimes I just abandon them because I can't think of ten things to go on the list. Top ten is just too stressful.

3. Most Top Ten Lists are too Long
This one is related to the previous point. Most top ten lists have about four or five strong, creative points. Then the rest is - man, how can I get this thing up to ten items?

4. What Do They Actually Mean?
If you type in Top Ten songs by Prince, you get eight different articles and eight different top ten lists. So which one is right? The answer is all of them -- and none of them. They're just opinions for the most part. But then that's true of almost all top ten lists. They're fun, but in reality they mean nothing, except what the author's opinion is on any given subject. Take this list. It doesn't mean anything either. So why the fascination with top ten's? I think part of it is validation - hey those are my top ten too! Part of it is just to see what others think - hmmm... I didn't know Devo had enough songs to make a top ten list. And part of it is just to provoke a reaction - oh, I can't believe Purple Rain is number one. It should be When Doves Cry.

5. Copyright Infringement?
My attorney thought of this one. The top ten list is the copyright of Worldwide Pants Incorporated. Obviously it's a bit of a stretch, but then that's what lawyers are for.

6. Top Ten Lists are Known in the State of California to Cause Mental Atrophy
Okay for those of you who live in Los Angeles, I just made that one up, but then that's all top ten lists are anyway - just something that someone made up. So I figured I could do that too.

7. It's Just Not Catchy Anymore
Fifty thousand articles ago, top ten was an original way to organize an article. It's got to be cliché by now. Then again 50,000 articles can't be wrong.

8. Unfair to Other Numbers
The undue attention to the number ten comes at the expense of the other numbers is unfair. I think this is the untold travesty of our times. Whatever happened to three being the magic number, eight being enough, the fantastic four, an even dozen? It's just not fair that ten gets all the attention.

9. Hard to Remember
Years ago, the phone company conducted a study and found that the maximum number of items the average person can remember is seven - hence your seven-digit phone number. Ten things are just too demanding, too exclusive for the average person.

10. Life Has Too Many Lists Already
Life is full of lists. I have a laundry list of projects to complete. I have a To Do list, a list server, a grocery list. I want to be on the best seller list. I'm listening to Franz Liszt. It just goes on and on, and it's time we take a stand.

If you too want to limit the the number of lists in your life (including top ten lists), then feel free to join my mailing list. Once you're a subscriber, I'll send you a complete list of ways to eliminate lists in your life.