Top Ten Reasons I Am Glad I Am Not a Celebrity

As I read over the Society pages and all the internet celebrity hoopla, I sit back and thank my lucky stars that I am not a celebrity. All the money in the world would not be enough for me to be under the scrutiny that the celebrities face. These are my top ten reasons why I am glad to live my normal low-key life and not be a celebrity.

1.
If I decide not to wear panties, I do not have to worry about the paparazzi having a camera snapping pictures of my crotch.
2.
I do not have to worry about someone stealing my dog that I carry around in my purse. Well I would have to use a suitcase on wheels to haul one of my dogs around, but that is beside the point.
3.
I can shave my head and no one will say that I am having a nervous breakdown. No one would care really besides my husband.
4.
I can go shopping in sweat pants and a tee shirt and not worry about people slapping that picture on tabloid covers across the world. However, I could end up on What Not to Wear.
5.
I can make all the sex tapes I want and not worry about them showing up on the black market or plastered all over the internet. Even if they did, people would not want to watch them anyways.
6.
My new hair cut or hair color will not be national headlines.
7.
I could kiss another girl if I wanted and not have to worry about someone stealing the pictures and posting them across the internet.
8.
I can marry a 90-year-old man for money and not be thrown into the media spot light as a gold digging whore.
9.
I can go to the grocery store and buy 10 boxes of HoHo's and not worry about seeing a headline that says "No wonder she has gained those pounds".
10.
I can Google my name and not be ashamed of the things that I find. I will not find pictures of me sprawled out in the backseat of a car after an alcohol and drug filled night. I will not find pictures of myself entering rehab for the fifth time.

Basically, what it boils down to is I am glad I am not a celebrity because I have my privacy and that I have enough respect for myself not be put into most of those situations.