TOP TEN Reasons Sarah Palin is Quiting as Governor of Alaska
This week Sarah Palin broke the news that she was quiting her post as Alaskan Governor. Amidst all the Michael Jackson coverage, you might not have heard her reasons for making such a hasty decision. You aren't the only one. Sarah Palin herself doesn't even know exactly why she's decided to be a big fat quitter. But here are some possible reasons she's decided to abandon the people whose votes gave her power.
- She wants to pursue her dream of professional wolf hunting from helicopters.
- She grew tired of emasculating her poor hubby Todd. Rumor has it that Todd grew irritated whenever Sarah Palin called him "Papa Smurf" on the campaign trail. So Sarah Palin's decided to let him wear the pants in the family for a change, just as soon as he's done with the laundry and dishes.
- Her 14-year-old-daughter, while vacationing with her parents at a New York Yankee game, accidentally got knocked up by A-rod during the 7th inning stretch. (I apologize in advance for that poor, tasteless joke.)
- She ran out of state troopers to fire. And being governor is no fun unless you have people to fire.
- She's eyeballing a job in late night television, possibly in the same time slot as David Letterman, but on FOX.
- She's about to have her 18th child and refuses to take advantage of the Family Medical Leave Act because it was signed into law by that no good Bill Clinton.
- She's joining the cast of Saturday Night Live as a Tina Fey impersonator. Hey, if it worked for Al Franken, it can work for anyone.
- Considering a run for the White House in 2012, she figures her best bet is to go into hiding until the night before the election, thereby avoiding all those awkward interviews and press conferences in which she seems like a bumbling buffoon.
- Russia will not stop flying its planes in Alaskan airspace no matter how many times she's asked them nicely or baked them cookies.
- The Nazi party is looking for a new book burner and Sarah Palin is hot to trot for the job.
Published by Jenny Corvette
Jenny Corvette lives in Southwestern lower Michigan. She has a BA in English, with an emphasis in Creative Writing. She minored in both Political Science and Philosophy. She has nearly 15 years experience as... View profile
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3 Comments
Post a CommentI thought she could only come out of her cave every 7 years or something. Was that Jeepers Creepers or a movie from the 80s? I forget lol.
Good one! I'm passing this along!
This was funny. And I like Sarah Palin, but hey, funny is funny, right? Good job. I got a chuckle!