Top Ten New Rules for Fox News in the White House Briefing Room

Due to the somewhat sudden resignation and forced retirement by White House press corps dean Helen Thomas, who believes that Israeli Jews should go back to Germany and Poland and may be a closet Nazi, a front row seat to White House briefings has opened up. The final three contenders, Fox News, NPR and Bloomberg, fought it out to the end, but eventually (and surprisingly) Fox News won the front row seat. However, this direct access to the president has come with several strings attached for the much maligned national news network that caters to conservative types. Ten of these new ground rules are listed below.

1. The Fox News reporter is not allowed to repeatedly question the president on his place or birth or imply that he was born on Mars.

2. No questions which make references, overt or otherwise, to Adolf Hitler will be allowed. (This rule was actually enacted shortly after Helen Thomas retired).

3. Questions concerning Area 51 and any aliens that might live there must be submitted in writing and in Latin, and will be answered in 150 years due to national security issues.

4. Formal dress is required, wearing of Tea Party costumes in the briefing room is no longer allowed.

5. Sarah Palin 2012 buttons, or any campaign buttons, will not be worn unless they are personally given the thumbs up by Joe Biden.

6. No questions about the recent sightings of Big Foot in the Rose Garden will be allowed until the president can make a special briefing of his own.

7. Fox News may pick any reporter they choose except Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilley Glenn Beck and anyone who has referred to the Obama administration as "socialism run amuck."

8. A large blue placard placed in front of the Fox News chair will prevent obscene gestures from being seen on television.

9. A large elephant sticker, denoting the right of center front row chair as being reserved for Fox News will be placed immediately on the back of their chair. Fox News will be allowed to cover up the sticker with a McCain/Palin '08 bumper sticker.

10. The Fox News reporter must not start rumors that anybody in the administration is a communist, though references to Stalin in any other context is allowed.

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Sources:

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2010/08/01/fox-news-receives-row-seat-white-house-briefing-room/?test=latestnews