Top Ten Secrets of a Congressional Reprimand

Embattled democratic New York representative, Charlie Rangel, who may face a public trial in the House of Representatives, may be forced to resign by democratic legislators. However, a special deal being worked out with the ethics committee involves simply "reprimanding Charlie" in lieu of other more serious charges. But what does a Congressional reprimand really mean? Listed below are ten secrets concerning this little used procedure.

1. The reprimanded individual must walk backwards around the Lincoln Memorial 60 times while reciting the Gettysburg Address.

2. When the person to be admonished is officially reprimanded, it is done at midnight in a special closed door session of Congress where fellow legislators are allowed, and even encouraged, to throw rotten fruit at the person while the reprimand is being delivered.

3. Though it appears to be a "slap on the wrist", reprimanded individuals aren't not allowed to use special Congressional credit cards provided to members of Congress for one year. These special congressional credit cards which can be used for everything from meals to trips are paid for by major corporations such as Ford and having spending limits upwards of $5 million.

4. Reprimanded individuals do receive 50 copies of limited edition framed and signed copies of their official order of reprimand which they are free to give out as souvenirs or even sell on Ebay.

5. Reprimanded individuals must wear a special dunce cap when attending all sessions of Congress for two months after their official date of reprimand.

6. The state which the reprimanded legislator comes from will lose all bids for the winter and summer Olympics for the next two decades.

7. Individuals about to be reprimanded can be found innocent if they are able to prove that the British royal family was somehow behind their reprimand.

8. Reprimanded individuals are banned from the Capitol cafeteria for half a year, and must eat hotdogs on the National Mall for lunch each day.

9. Reprimanded individuals can run again for a seat in Congress, but only if they spend 10,000 hours in community service cleaning the National Monument with a toothbrush.

10. Reprimanded individuals must a yellow and pink polka dotted scarf while in public during election years to let voters know that they were reprimanded.

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Sources:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/07/30/AR2010073003761.html?hpid=topnews