Top Things to Say or Not to Say to a Person Dealing with Depression

Words are powerful. The book of Proverbs compares thoughtless words like "the stabs of a sword", while positive comments can be "a healing to the heart". Here is a helpful list of comments to say and not to say.

Top five Things Not to Say to a Depressed Person

"Just get over it"

A depressed person cannot "just get over" his or her depression. Think of it as someone with cancer. Would you say the same comment to a cancer patient? Depression is an illness too. It is just not as visible as a physical illness.

"Think of other people sicker than you who don't cry and complain"

A depressed person already feels guilty about the way he or she is. Depressed persons need to refocus on themselves first to get to the root of their illness. Complaining at first, may very well shed light on their thought patterns, which can help them, readjust there thinking patterns?

"You should get out more"

A depressed person will enjoy going out if there are not so many people around. They will also enjoy staying for a short time rather than all night. Depressed person need exercise but with the right environment. Accompany them for a walk at a time where a park is not crowded.

"You're just lazy"

It may seem to you that a depressed person is lazy but remember that this illness is not as visible as a physical illness. Would you tell a person with a broken leg that she or he is lazy for resting? Depression may feel to the depressed person just like being broken, emotionally broken.

"Look on the bright side"

First, this is a superficial comment. Looking on the bright side and avoiding the dark side is perhaps the reason a person has fallen into the depression. What you put back always comes back. A depressed person hearing someone saying, "think in a positive way", is saying that his or her feelings are not important. This can only add to the worthlessness already existing in them.

Words are powerful. The book of Proverbs compares thoughtless words like "the stabs of a sword", while positive comments can be "a healing to the heart".

Top five Things to Say to a Depressed Person

"You are a really good cook" or "You are so good with children"

A depressed person ignores his or her good qualities. Try to focus his or her attention on his or her good qualities or talent. This may help the person build their self-esteem.

"I love you"

When a depressed person hears these words, they are a reassurance that someone loves them even though they feel they do not deserve this love. Make sure that your words are genuine.

"Can you help me with ..."?

A depressed person often feels little or no self-confidence and very little self-value. Asking (genuinely) their help with something the depressed person can succeed can really boost their self-confidence. Again, it must be genuine or else it may backfire.

"I don't know exactly how you feel but I am at your side"

A depressed person needs to feel your support. Acknowledging you do not understand exactly how she or he feels releases tension between the two of you. Adding that you are at her or his side will comfort and reassure the depressed person that they are not alone.

"I am sorry you are in so much pain. I care for you."

This comment shows that it is okay to be in so much pain. The pain is real to the depressed person. Hearing a comment like this can alleviate the guilt a depressed person may feel. Guilt-free of feeling pain, she or he can now concentrate on the more important issues of their depression.

Perhaps, one day we will live in a depression free world. Until then, we should handle with care all those depressed souls.