Top New Year's Resolutions for Bella Swan from Twilight

I am a big fan of the Twilight series and of the movie. But, that does not keep me from seeing, and poking fun at, some of the worst characteristics of the main characters. Bella Swan has got some definite issues and needs to make some resolutions this New Year's Eve to try to get beyond those issues! Here, I have listed the top 10 New Year's resolutions for Bella from the Twilight series. Maybe if she follows these she will be able to survive and grow up! While I greatly enjoyed all four books and thought the movie was pretty good, I do have a few bones to pick with the way Bella acts. These resolutions speak to some of the problems I found with her as a character. All you Twilight fans, don't hate me! It's all in good fun. These humorous resolutions are meant to be funny. The story of Bella and Edward is a wonderful love story and a great read, but not realistic in any way. So, here are some ways for Miss Bella to get into the real world a little bit!

Eat more red meat - you need the iron if you are dating a vampire.

Get really good health insurance since you are either hurting yourself or getting hurt by other people/ the undead constantly. All of those trips to the emergency room can't be cheap!

Find a human boyfriend so that you can actually live a normal life. I'm just sayin'....

Grow a spine so that you are not whining like a baby about your boyfriend "leaving" you all of the time. You are supposed to be a roll model for young girls, so try to act like an adult!

Go out in the sun more often - you look like a vampire you are so pale.

Go see a counselor to get over this poor self image that you have and the need for a codependent relationship. Independence is wonderful!

Watch lots and lots of horror movies. Learn what a vampire is. Be afraid - be very afraid.

Take some self defense classes - and don't walk around in bad neighborhoods after dark by yourself.

Look up the definition of "stalker" and "peeping tom" and make sure you lock your windows. It's kind of creepy that you let some guy you barely know watch you while you are sleeping.

When someone tells you they might kill you if they kiss you.... listen to them. The lion might have fallen in love with the lamb, but he still gets hungry and has big teeth!