Total Tanning and Those "Hard to Reach Spots"

Not many of you may remember George Hamilton. Long before he was strutting his stuff on "Dancing with the Stars", he used to be a famous figure in Hollywood in the 1960's and 1970's. He made a bunch of unforgettable films and equally unforgettable prime time television series, the best of which may have been the biopic about stunt motorcyclist Eviel Knievil. Anyway, George was a lot more famous for something other than his acting. It was his tan! George Hamilton was known as "the tannest man in Hollywood". The king of "total tanning".

George was a mainstay on the old Merv Griffin and Mike Douglas talk shows and he would brag that "he had a tan everywhere". Now "everywhere" is a subjective term, and depending on your imagination it can cover a lot of territory. Personally I don't really want to know "where" so I'll take George at his word. But what 'ol George was really eschewing was the benefits of "total tanning". And this was a long time before total tanning or any tanning for that matter was in vogue.

Which brings us to the present. Full-figured models have made a come back! So all you pale skinned, emaciated, flat breasted, thin lipped fashion icons of five or ten years ago please step to the rear of the line. Thanks to the latest generation of mega-models, tanned skin is back in. Thanks to dresses with no backs and even less fronts, everything is in full view. Total tanning is where it's at now, baby! Total tanning takes some forethought and some effort if you're going to reach those "hard to reach" places. And you know what they are, so there's no sense in me repeating them!

There are two major methods of getting a total tan: indoor tanning and outdoor tanning. Both have their merits. The indoor tanning industry has grown to such an extent that it risks making the beach obsolete. Of course, nothing can substitute for real sunshine. Sunshine is the most powerful natural antidepressant there is. Plus, a fresh air "high" makes your body healthier. Ultraviolet rays from the sun can actually help cure such diseases as fungal rash.

It should come as no surprise that the most popular outdoor tanning method is a nude tanning or sunbathing. With nude tanning you will not suffer any tan lines, a problem that many people complain about. Besides, it's always good to let the "hidden" parts of your body feel the sunshine. Guys write this down; it's important for men to keep their testicles at room temperature, any hotter and you risk harming yourself. If the testicles get too hot, they can't produce enough sperm for those kids you so desperately want one day. So if you're a guy and you're out in your "altogether" getting baked by the sun, consider a strategically placed fig leaf. Whatever works, as long as you cover up your best buddy every 15 minutes or so. And for you women, it goes without saying that the female breast is a tender piece of machinery. The area around and including the nipple should be covered to avoid to much sun.

Now I don't know if George Hamilton was privy to these total tanning methods, but considering his Hollywood home supposedly had a 12 foot surrounding wall, I wouldn't doubt it.

Doctors say that the amount of melanin in your skin determines how fast it takes for your skin to darken. Therefore, the key to a good tan is moderation and patience. Some pointers regardless of how much or little you have on at the beach:

- Take a good bath or shower before tanning.

- Be sure to invest in a good brand of sunscreen with a sun protective factor (SPF) of at least 15. Some recommended brands of sun block are Australian Gold, Coppertone and Hawaiian Tropic Sun block.

- Apply the sunscreen no less than 30 minutes before you do any tanning.

- Do your tanning in the early morning before the sun is at it's peak. Stay out of the sun between 3:00 - 5:00, that's when UV is the strongest and most damaging

Now let's take a look at the indoor tanning and its benefits.

Indoor tanning allows you to get tanned despite the weather outside your window. Indoor tanning salons operate all year round and the "weather" there is always suitable. If you're a person whose time is always at a premium, a tanning salons is the way to go. In a sense, tanning salons do the work for you, because they generally won't let you bake for more than 40 minutes at one time. Plus you are guaranteed privacy. A key point when working on that total tan.

"Mystic" tanning is the latest craze in the indoor tanning industry. In principal it's not too much different from your car being painted at a body shop. You enter a booth, strip down, raise your arms and you get sprayed with a fine mist from front to back. An air ventilation system, similar to that in a car wash, blows off the excess mist. A few minutes later and you're done! Instant tan! Who needs the beach!

Another innovative indoor tanning method is a new product called a "tanning towel". Similar to a towelette you take the small tanning towel and wipe yourself down from head to toe and everywhere in between. The secret tanning recipe dries in less than 20 minutes. About two hours later the active ingredients kick in and you have yourself a tan!

All this technology! Whatever happened to lying out by the pool with a book? Call me old fashioned, but for me it's either the beach or nothing at all. And speaking of nothing at all - don't forget the sun block.