Toto and the Bucket of Nuts

One sunny afternoon in Northern Indiana, my family pulled into the driveway of the classic American farm. We were there to get a dog advertised in the Sunday newspaper. She was a small white mutt, but had some terrier in her blood. The man told us her name was Toto, and it fit. We took her home, and she quickly became my younger brother and my companion. She would play with us while we were outside, and take care of her business when we went inside. She dug holes with her nose until it was raw and hairless. She became adept at catching moles, and would line up her kills by the back door for us to find each morning. Toto also acquired a taste for crayons, and we always laughed at her rainbow colored poop around the property. She was a dirty little dog, but we loved her.

Eventually, my family moved to Colorado where my father purchased a veterinary clinic. Toto took residence there, as it gave her more room to run. The clinic was open to both large and small animals. We were in the heart of cattle country, and cows and bulls were the bulk of the large animal clientele. They would be brought in for any number of reasons, and often some sort of tissue was left behind. For example, many cows were brought in that were having difficulties with calving, and after delivery, the placenta was left. Toto became a connoisseur of these remnants.

Part of raising cattle is the annual castration of bull calves not selected for breeding. These become steers, and are typically raised for beef. One day, a client brought in a load of calves for castration. The cattle were run through the chute, vaccinated, de-horned and castrated. After the testicles were removed, they were placed in a bucket. Sometimes these are later cleaned, cooked and served as Rocky Mountain Oysters, but that's another story. Eventually, Toto sniffed out the bucket and in went her snout. Within a few minutes, she had eaten nearly 30 whole, raw testicles. Shortly after she ate them, she puked them up, at which time she promptly ate them again. My brother and I saw the entire thing, and were laughing as she gobbled them down. It was one of the most hysterically disgusting things I have ever seen, and is one of the most vivid memories I have of Toto. She was a lovable gross little dog.