Toupée, Or Not Toupée

I sat down to make my presentation to the station director, and knew immediately that something was amiss. What was my first clue? Well, with my amazing powers of observation, the color tipped me off right away. Such a definitive, rounded area of rich, dark, sable brown sat atop his fading red natural hair that I was finding it difficult not to stare.

I squirmed slightly, trying to refocus on the matter at hand. Reminding myself I was there to present my marketing ideas for this man's group of radio stations across the country, I conscientiously straightened in my seat. Clearing my throat, ready to begin, I was distracted anew by the way it moved as a single unit each time he scratched his head to think. 'What an unfortunate choice of headgear to go with that little nervous habit', I thought to myself. Hypnotized by the motion, I once again found my self scrambling to continue my presentation.

By repeating silently to myself "at least it isn't a bad comb-over" several times, I once again had my bearings and began sailing away on the winds of great marketing possibilities. Then, he sneezed, revealing the third clue that he was wearing one - it flopped. Yes, I said flopped. Each sneeze in his succession of three brought with it a quick, furry little hopping motion on top of his head.

Beginning to find my self in the throes of yet another distracted, uncomfortable "trying so hard not to stare" moment, I stood up dramatically, as if to make my point. I continued the presentation, blessedly free of further hair piece contemplation, from a pacing position. I somehow managed to make it look more like enthusiasm than avoidance, wondering all the while how I would work with someone I had such trouble looking at without a font of giggles bursting forth.

The sacrifices women make for men's vanity are legion. I surely wish being forced to gaze upon the Bad Toupeé (and / or the Bad Comb-Over) were not among their number.

And a special aside for the radio station guy: YES, we CAN tell you wear a rug! I BEG of you, try a RED one - you know, like your actual HAIR????