Tourists Use Peruvian Capital as Layover for Cuzco: Lima Expresses Jealousy

The city of Lima has had enough with tourists coming in from all walks of the Earth and using her just to gain access to Cuzco. She demands respect and fuck it, she will get it.

For years, Lima has succumbed to the magnificent and all powerful Cuzco, with its perfect tours and perfect restaurants and perfect Inca Ruin sites. More recently, Lima took a hard blow last month when Machu Picchu was declared part of the New Seven Wonders of the World. That bitch.

All too familiar, Lima has witnessed countless foreigners spending the night with her and then fleeing back to Jorge Chávez International Airport for their connecting flight to Cuzco. If you've seen one metropolitan city, you've seen them all, right? (Wrong! cries Lima)

There's just as much attractions in Lima as there are in any other city in the world, so the demand for respect is understandable. Lima has museums, bus tours, nightlife, beautiful sightseeing, bohemian culture (Take that Washington Square fuckers!) and she damn sure knows how to satisfy.

But hope still reigns for the Peruvian capital. Apparently, food is the new found interest tourists are taking note of and little by little Lima is gaining the respect she deserves, although there's still some work to be done.

Miraflores is the most popular attraction for the few tourists that do stay in Lima and it's bound to get even bigger, as more construction is done in the surrounding areas of Larco Mar. The Plaza Mayor offers great attractions like the catacombs or the Palacio de Gobierno (President's Palace) and loads of window shopping. It's not Rodeo Drive, but fuck it, who needs that over-priced crap anyway.

If Lima seems bitter and unfriendly don't blame her, she is the way she is because Cuzco is an asshole, and assholes just tend to shit on everybody.