Toxic Nourishment

The concept of nourishment usually brings to mind nurturing, and sustenance. Nurture is facilitated by someone with a purpose to engineer growth and a sense of well being in another. This is in the same manner that a mother 's purpose is to place the child's well being above her own. Human encounters can nourish a person and provide experiences of joy, happiness and well-being or they can be toxic and destructive, thus leaving an individual feeling deprived, anxious, hopeless, frustrated, angry, inadequate, depressed and having a sense of low self-esteem. T

Toxic nourishment minimizes, distorts and blocks one's innate potentials. Destructive encounters and experiences often begin in childhood, but may continue to accumulate or operate indefinitely to the detriment of the individual. Toxic nourishment is a diet of criticism, shame, isolation, and learned helplessness. Thus feeding defenses that recreate the patterns for toxic nourishment in all relationships. The potentials for emotional health, maturity, creativity, and sense of well-being develop naturally when this process is not too hampered or distorted.

These injuries are common in toxic workplaces. They occur with deliberate behavior by a bosses who consider negative behavior to be ok. .Their subordinates perceive them as bullies to be feared or avoided. This boss is not a leader and will always have a negative or toxic impact on the performance of his subordinates. Often it is his lack of confidence that leads to his lack nurture in his subordinates. They are often victims of the Peter Principal ("In a Hierarchy Every Employee Tends to Rise to His Level of Incompetence.") Their operatives are bullying, aggression, intimidation, micro-management, grandiosity, and narcissism. This results in under performance, high staff turnover, absenteeism, sickness, lateness, high levels of stress, grievances, disciplinary action, burnout, early retirement, customer complaints about quality, and the need for constant reorganization.

Employers require employees to produce the required results on time, within budget and to set standards. Unless employees feel good about themselves and their environment, they cannot produce these desired results. The reason: they generate emotional reactions that affect their ability to perform consistently and effectively. Recognition of the importance of positive emotional reactions is just as important as the cultivation of skills. Most people want to reach for their potential and the emotionally balance employee will be more productive.

In a flourishing economy business pays more attention to the need of the employee. This was very evident in the of workers in Silicon Valley about 10 years ago and Google today. (Top salaries, day care, gyms, dry cleaning, coffee and juice bars, easy access to medical care, and concierge services for employees.) It is easy to see why those businesses prosper. Somehow when the economy takes a down swing some employers think they will prosper by short cutting the very people they need to make the business flourish.

Militant business prototypes fail to recognize the importance of employees who feel emotionally competent and thus capable of creative solutions. They desire robots who only follow orders and ignore the ability to think outside of the box. Or, they only favor those who belong to the "good ole boy's club, that continue the status quo. Creativity is actually punished. If the paycheck is the only emotional reward at the end of 40 hours, this person is destined to quickly burn out, health problems and early death. Constant replacement of employees may be a method of control, but brings the effectiveness to a stand still when those who have the most knowledge of the business leave in order to survive. Those who remain have the highest impact on medial costs. Positions that can't be filled due to medical leave, leave the remaining employees working several other's work loads. This is most visible in government positions.

Despite the reports of the failing economy, I know literally hundreds that are seeking positions that will bring more emotional reward. This may mean a higher salaries. But, more often it means finding a position where one can feel more emotional value and self-esteem.

Good managers empower others and know how to get the best out of their employees. Good mangers work smarter, no harder because their employees are happy to perform.

For those in toxic environments the process of change is the same as a physical diet. Purging or flushing the toxic poisons is a process of emotional nourishment that involves awareness of the distortions and blocks are occurring and how defenses operate destructively to hamper one's awareness and reactions. Is the paycheck really worth the negative deposits in you bank of self-esteem? Believe that there is a Higher Power in the universe that will provide for you ideal. And, realized that real happiness does not require a pill to help your stay in a rotten job or relationship.

Life is way to short, drive your old car another year if you have to. After all, you not taking those material things with you when you go. I have never heard a dying man say he wished he had spent more hours on the job. Take time to smell the roses, and if roses are your thing, maybe you should become a florist.