Toxic Relationships

A toxic person whose feelings of insecurity and inadequacy make them jealous, envious and uncaring, so they end up sabotaging your projects and your relationships.

Dr. Cheryl Robinson of the Oprah Winfrey Show says, "there are several relationships in your life that constantly drain your energy, in both obvious and subtle ways. The types include:

"The blamer, this is a person who consistently blames you and/or everyone else for his/her problems."

"The complainer likes to hear his/her own voice. He/she constantly complains about what isn't working in his life and yet gets energy from complaining and dumping his frustrations on you."

"The drainer is the needy person who calls to ask for your guidance, support, information, advice, or whatever she needs to feel better in the moment. Because of her/his neediness, the conversation often revolves around her, and you can almost feel the life being sucked out."

"The shamer can be hazardous to your health. The shamer may cut you off, or make fun of your ideas in front of others. The shamer is the kind of person who makes you question your sanity before his/hers.

"The discounter avoids intimacy about other behind their backs. The gossip gets energy from relaying stories, opinions, and the latest "scoop." By gossiping about others, he creates a lack of safety in his relationships, whether he realizes it or not."

Ways to tell if your mate is toxic: they put you down verbally in private or in front of others. Your partner tell you they love you but their behavior shows otherwise.
Your partner does not want you to have other friendships. Your partner is jealous of the time you spend with your kids. Your partner wants you to depend on him. Your partner puts down your opinions, accomplishment or thoughts. Your partner makes you feel afraid or unsafe. Your partner makes you feel unattractive and stupid. Whenever your partner thinks you are leaving they become nice and say nice things. You cannot remember the last time that you were happy.

According to Dr. Gail Saltz, "you start questioning who you are, you live in fear, you have fantasies of escape, you question reality, you lie to others about him and defend him despite your own panic. This person convinces you that cannot live without him/her."

"In order to get out of this relationship the person will need people who will make them feel safe and secure, and who will reinforce their ability to take care of themselves and know who they are and what they want out of life."

According to Resources-free.com, "you can never change another person, either you like whom you meet or you don't. No one can change another person, the person must have the desire to change him or herself.

"Sharing is a huge part in friendship, love and relationships. When two people share, they are both giving feelings, lasting joy and love. Working together without selfishness build solid relationships, often endure tribulation, joyous moments and so forth. Relationships built on solid ground rarely fall apart when trouble arrives. If you cannot enhance your toxic friendship or relationship you should get out."