Traditional Weddings, Courthouse Weddings or Eloping, Which of the Three is Best?

Everybody may not agree with the purpose of getting married, but from a traditional non-biblical standpoint, it's the ultimate deal for monogamy. Being in a monogamous relationship is an agreement, but entering into a legal agreement with a contract and a witness(es) is another way of saying, "I promise we'll be together." By now you already know the wedding vows "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part." But do you really need the huge wedding to go along with it?

Weddings are not cheap. Even if the wedding is in your backyard with family and friends, there's still the matter of catering, a photographer, a videographer, a reception location, an engagement ring, wedding bands, wedding cake, a wedding location and preacher, a deejay, a wedding dress, invitations, wedding decorations, a vehicle to transport the guests (ex. limousine). If you're one of those women (or men) who has always pictured your dream wedding and look forward to planning a wedding outside in Chicago's unpredictable weather, go for it. You should be entitled to have the wedding you desire. However, if your funds do not allow you to have this wedding, planning for a small wedding is fine.

You don't have to have the kind of wedding that would be featured on MTV in order to be married. After the wedding and the honeymoon, that's when the real work starts. Some of the most outstanding weddings have been planned and months later the couple splits up. Wedding planning is not easy. It takes a lot of work, patience and organization to create such an important event full of Simon Cowells if everything goes wrong.

But it's still you and that other person getting married, not the family, friends and co-workers watching you. After the wedding is over, it's up to you two to honor the marriage license and the relationship. Would it be easier and cheaper to just elope and save yourself the money and trouble? It depends on how important this wedding is to you. If you know it would break your father's heart not to be able to give you away to your fiancé or hurt your mother to not see her child all grown up, have a conversation with the two.

Your wedding is a time to celebrate, and you don't want someone else's opinion of how you should get married to stand in the way. But you also don't want to disappoint those who want to share in the festivities. It might be a matter of just decreasing the wedding guests or the location or even the price of your gown. Whether you choose to elope or have a traditional wedding is your decision. Just remember the wedding is a one-day event. The honeymoon may be a few days to a week. The marriage though is supposed to be forever, and that's what counts most.

Additional Notes: My grandparents were married for 49 years before her paternal grandmother passed. They got married at a courthouse and went to White Castle for dinner. Her parents had a traditional wedding and have been married for 30 years. Both types of weddings can work, but it's the two people who get married that make it work, not the wedding ceremony.