Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen (movie Review)

Yeah, I know the subtitle is cheezed - but what else do you want from me? Lemme throw it out to all of you right now, I have been a DIE HARD Transformers geek for probably the past twenty to twenty-five years now. If the Star Trek geeks are called Trekkies/Trekkers, then I am what is called a Transfan, so you can imagine my pre-conceived notions and opinions that I am holding for this film from the get go.

Now, I don't want to necessarily ruin the plot of this film but I will cover the highs and lows of it. First off, I can tell you that the film opens up where the Autobots and the humans have formed a coalition (called NEST) in order to track down renegade Decepticons. There is a big chase through China, innocents are hurt which causes a stir in the U.S. government. The president instills a new political watch dog to stir up some crap and create an annoying sub plot of the film of this elite covert unit that is losing control and they try to make it appear that ALL Transformers are the villains and need to be controlled by the humans. Again, quite the bothersome sub plot if you ask me.

Over the course of the next two and a half hours, we are exposed to an over abundance of explosions, cheap jokes, introduction to numerous nameless characters, dog humping, continuous use of PG-13 appropriate curse words and the infamous Michael Bay "running away from a fireball/explosion in slow motion." I guess if you are a fan of kinda silly action films, than this movie might be the ticket for you - but viewer beware, I'm sure even YOU will be tired of:

A) Introduction of new scene

B) Have a shoot out/blow up a majority of that scene

C) Escape the scene via foot or car chase

D) Introduction of new scene (shampoo, condition, repeat)

Probably one of my other big gripes is the characters themselves. One of the greatest things of growing up with the various interpretations of this series through comic books and television shows was that you were always excited when they introduced a new character. It was either a character that you had a toy of that you could act out battle scenes with while you watched the show, or it was a new character that Hasbro was introducing on it's toy shelves right around at the same time. And isn't that what this movie is really all about? Selling products? Not so much action figures, but GM vehicles, LG electronics and fast food tie-ins?

I mean, there are points in this film where they keep throwing new characters at the audience. Unless you are paying attention to the dialogue amongst the crashing/booming/gun fire/explosions, you will probably miss one of the few times that they announce the character's name. Much unlike the first film where there were a few Transformers and Hasbro made toys of them ON TOP of other characters they felt belonged in the film - well now we have a much more over abundance of characters. This time around, we have TONS of new characters, most of which we don't know who they are. The traditional code of Autobots=cars and Decepticons=jets is fairly thrown out the window, and the differences of the two are blended because when they get into these close up fight scenes, you don't know who is who. And if you don't know who is who, why should you even care about these characters? And if you don't care about a character - why should you buy a toy based off of it?

As far as the characters are concerned, we are treated to a classic interpretation of the loyal Soundwave (who has the legendary voice actor Frank Welker to reprise his role, but it isn't as reverbed as the G1 show - he really sounds more like Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget). Devastator is in the film as well, and he is even made of the original toy models (dump truck, bull dozer, crane, etc) but his combiner form just looks crappy. There is a new interpretation of Jetfire and Arcee even comes back into the folds. Starscream is back, but is less backstabbing like he traditionally is, and more like a groveling toad to his master Megatron. Megatron's role is reprised by Hugo Weaving, which I still don't understand why they just didn't have Frank Welker do it while he was recording Soundwave.

There are a few other legends back in the series, (yes Transfans, I'm sorry but for some reason they decided to reincarnate Wheelie) and then we have too much screen time with some of the Transformers that it just becomes annoying. I can see why the film makers might have done it. I mean, I was impressed with the audience when I saw the premier screening of the film. It was diverse with adults near my age, teenage boys/girls and even small toddlers who are probably getting introduced to TF via the movies and the awesome animated series currently shown on Cartoon Network. And then there are Transformers like Skids and Mudflap who are constantly using PG-13 curse words and are there for some really inappropriate comedy relief. One Transformer even humps Megan Fox's leg.

So now that the characters are out of the way, what else can I say about the film? The plot is centered on the concept that the Transformers have actually been with us for millions of years. They've constantly been in disguise and constantly seeking the need for a device that can create energon, their life sustenance. What I do not understand is how the Transformers have been surviving on what little energon in the galaxy for all this time. In the show, they could convert it from our crude fossil fuels and pour it into see-through pink cubes that came out of Soundwave's chest. So I felt like it was a bit of a plot hole that they have been constantly attacking and searching for this awesome supply of energon, and yet they have been able to survive and prosper without it for millions of years. Time to move on to another planet I say.

A good side of the film was how they tried to expand some of the mythos of the Transformers universe. They spoke of this character of The Fallen, where he and six other Primes initially visited Earth millions of years ago in search of the energon. Well, the Fallen, fell from grace and was pretty much responsible for beginning the great Civil War (at least the first one, I'd say). The other Primes took the Matrix of Leadership away from the fallen and were able to go into hiding for millions of years. No one knew where they were hidden, except a map to their destination was encoded in the All Spark (which was destroyed at the end of the last film).

Luckily, our good buddy Spike (god damn it, the male friend of the Transformers will always be Spike to me) discovers he had a remaining sliver. The code gets sucked into his brain, and he keeps having almost like flash backs and turrets fits when he begins to spout out Cybertronian code. Yet again, Spike becomes the target of the Decepticons as they want the information locked away in his brain. Yet again, Spike needs to bring along his girlfriend Makeala, and she really doesn't bring much to the film besides eye candy and she has to hold hands with Spike when they run away from danger. Yes, I'm serious; they frequently hold hands when they are running away.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot about the other sub plot of this film - that Spielbergian touch of a slightly dysfunctional family values and entwined with just a pinch of a love story. I mean, when there is a whole army of Decepticons approaching you and you are on the crust of saving Optimus Prime - do you really think the audience wants to watch Spike and his girlfriend staring at one another with a glistening desert sun behind them while they confess their love to one another. But I guess that is what makes this film so marketable and universally appealing to such a diverse audience.

Well folks, I guess that is all I got on the review of this film. Downsides are it is excessively long, full of raunchy humor, non-sensical subplots, more intentions on selling products instead of telling a story, an overabundance of explosions (and slow mo) and characters that you will not feel for. The upsides are featuring Soundwave, even though he just looks like he is humping a surveillance satellite through the film. The film makers have expanded the Transformers mythos and some ideas as far as the role of the Prime and have brought back the Matrix. There is also some cool gorey effects where they film makers combined the techno and the organic as some of the Transformers get parts of their bodies ripped off. If you are a fan of senseless action films, you will probably like this. If you are a Transfan, I know you are griping about it already. Overall, 2.75 / 5 stars - I at least have a feeling it'll be better than the G.I. Joe movie.

Final cool quote in homage to the 1986 animated film: "I shall rise, you shall fall."