Treat Your Server Well: An Impassioned Plea to Those Who Have Never Waited Tables
Thank Someone Who Performs a Thankless Job: Part 2 of a 3 Part Series
1) Your server is not responsible for any mistakes the kitchen made. Don't yell at your server if the food is bad. Your server did not make the food him/herself.
2) When the restaurant is busy, it takes longer to get your food. There is nothing your server can do about this. He or she is most likely not just sitting around, being lazy, or talking with other servers. He or she is probably running around crazily, trying to keep all of his or her tables satisfied.
3) If more than two tables that come in at the same time are assigned to one server, he or she cannot address them all simultaneously. If the table that came in 3 seconds before you did gets their drinks first, do not be upset. Your server will get to you as soon as possible. He or she probably did not notice the order in which the tables came in.
4) Servers are humans too. They're entitled to off days (or nights) like anybody else. If your server seems a little off, consider the fact that maybe he or she has a sick family member, has just ended a relationship or is going through a rough divorce, is completely stressed out and burnt out from working for eight days straight, or is simply not feeling well. Try to be understanding and empathetic to your server! He or she may be working around large obstacles and doing his or her best.
5) Unless your server was rude, it's horribly rude not to tip, or to leave less than a 15% tip. Servers live off of their tips. Most make around $2.13 an hour and if they expend an hour's (or more) worth of effort on your table and you do not tip, it's the same as you working for an hour with the expectation of being paid then not getting paid. Imagine that you were constantly being judged on your work and then paid accordingly, even if the circumstances which you were judged on were not entirely (or even remotely) your fault. If you felt you had bad service, tip 15%. It's the smallest percentage you can give and still be polite, so they'll know their service was not up to par, but they'll still have something to show for their efforts. I mean, they brought you food, didn't they? And remember: if you can't afford to tip, then you can't afford to go out to eat. Get take out instead.
6) If you are a demanding table, whether it be because of dietary issues, small children, mind-changing and many demands, or lots of questions, this should be reflected in the tip. If your server spent a lot of time and effort on your table, keep this in mind and tip appropriately, over 15%, regardless of whether the service was exemplary or just okay.
6) If something is wrong with your food and it is your server's fault, tell them politely, don't yell or become angry. Everyone makes mistakes, and your server did not do it out of malice. If you yell, though, they might do something out of malice next time. If you're afraid of servers or cooks doing weird or gross things to your food, keep this tidbit of information found in Waiting in mind: in her twenty some years as a server, Debra Ginsberg never saw anything gross happen to the food of nice customers. That's not to say it never happens, so don't anger your server.
7) The better you treat your server, the better your server will treat you. If it's a restaurant that you frequent, it's best to be nice to all the servers at all times. You'll get better service that way. Preferred customers are sometimes privy to little niceties, be it the extra attention of a cheerful server, a substitution that is normally not allowed, or free desserts. Good tips also can make one a favored customer.
8) If you want to be really nice and helpful, stack up your dishes in an orderly fashion and tidy up the table before leaving. Yes, clearing the table is your server's job (or the busboy/girl's) but that's no reason not to help out a little. And don't leave disgusting things on the table. Clean up any mess you brought in with you. Would you want to touch someone's dirty tissue? No. And neither do they. They don't get paid enough for that.
9) If you've never waited tables, keep in mind that it's harder than it looks. It's an art, and those who are good at it have worked hard to get where they are.
Published by Marissa Lee
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27 Comments
Post a CommentI would only give a larger tip to the waitress or waiter if they give good service and were polite towards me.
Other than that I would simply give the required and no more.
"1) Your server is not responsible for any mistakes the kitchen made. Don't yell at your server if the food is bad. Your server did not make the food him/herself."
http://www.mtsusidelines.com/media/paper202/news/2003/10/01/Opinions/Tips-Are.Earned.Rewards.Not.An.Ordained.Right-508957.shtml?norewrite&sourcedomain=www.mtsusidelines.com
"Never, ever take food out that is incorrectly done (I had a waitress rip me a new one for something I goofed up on as a cook and she demanded I fix it then and there - and she was right and I learned). Explain about and apologize for the delay."
Basically this editorial is truly TRUE in that if the mistake is something the server can "SEE" WITHOUT having to touch the person's food, they should not be taking the food to the customer with OBVIOUS mistakes. Things like wrong entrees, wrong side dishes, or things that are missing should not be taken to the customer. The server should be verifying the written order and comparing that written order
I think it's important to be respectful of your server, etc. But I disagree that tips should be expected for bad service. If that's the way people want it, tips should just be done away with & a flat wage should be est. I think if you want to work a job where you're rewarded for quality of service, then you should also be able to accept the other end of that - not receiving a tip for poor service.
I,too have worked as a waitress, many years. (the tip then, was 10%) yes, I worked very hard. Sometimes I got good tips, sometimes not. Waitress work is very much under paid. I agree that waitress should be paid minimum wage. With children to support, the wages of a waitress is not enough to cover their needs. I, too,tip according to service. Most time, the service is good.
I'm mixed on the idea of raising server wages. Being in the business for 21 years I can see how it would help me and also how the increased labor costs would be passed onto the consumer. And there is that point where the higher a check is, the higher tip I will get but that one is countered by the fact that people would know I make more per hour and be inclined to tip me less. I think the best thing would be to just leave it as status quo. It is easier educating people on tipping properly if the server deserved it then changing the whole pay system. That would be a big mess.
I waitressed for years, and it was my favorite job. I agree with everything in your article. Good job.
Excellent article, Marissa! I have seen some very busy servers and some very, very rude customers. I hope your article is seen by some of them.
Personally I think that servers should be paid the same minimum wage as everyone else, and tips should be something extra they get for great service. Tips aren't guaranteed or required by law; any person with a job needs a steady paycheck that meets minimum wage requirements. If you're not making minimum wage with tips, then you need to ask for a raise. But personally I think that servers work hard enough that they ought to make the regular minimum wage + tips.
I always leave a very good tip unless the service was poor. Usually a server gets at least 15% from me or nothing at all, and the service has to be pretty bad for me to stiff someone. There's this whole 'dining out' culture in Philadelphia (where I'm from) that you might be interested in exploring. As I travel, I find it to be a complete phenomenon, even in other American cities. Philadelphians, even rich jerky ones, are for some reason excellent tippers. My uncle makes a decent amount of money now, but he has a large family and he has always worked a blue collar job. I can't remember a time when he didn't tip well, even at an ice cream parlor.
I can answer that one, Scott. Many places DO have an automatic 15% added nowadays. Problem with that is, people either resent that and give the server crap about it -OR- they leave it at 15%, even if the server did an outstanding job. 15% is NOT a "good" tip. I never liked that automatic tip anyway unless I knew I was going to get stiffed.