Commitment phobia is the fear and avoidance of having to commit to anything, especially relationships. Everyone has a small fear of commitment but some people cannot function day to day because of this phobia. This fear can ruin lives. Not being able to commit to job will ruin any kind of financial stability, and not being able to commit to a relationship can leave a person very lonely. The sad part is most of the time these people want to have that job or want to marry that special person but that phobia will overcome. This phobia can also stand in the way of the people getting the help they need to help overcome this fear.
The origin of this phobia can be varied but believed to have stemmed from a childhood experience. Maybe a traumatic loss, parents divorcing, just an all around unstable home environment is most likely the culprit of the phobia. Fear of commitment on a job level could stem from a fear of failure, or maybe a fear of success, just being unable to handle the stress.
Finding a cure for this phobia mainly lays in the hands of the person it effects. Sometimes people are helped by just staying away from whatever their phobia is - I would not suggest this with a commitment phobia. There needs to be focus on the individual and the self-esteem issues this person may be having. Getting to the bottom of what may have caused this phobia to start with. What does commitment mean to this individual? What are their long-term goals for a relationship? The normal treatments involved in other phobias may not apply as well here. The use of "exposure" treatments is when a person is exposed gradually to a phobia they have. It is not very likely that a therapist will gradually expose you to a relationship or other commitment to help you get over your phobia. There is also talking treatments, which is simply talking to someone about the phobia you have. This will help the person recognize the stress causing factors in their lives so that steps can be made to help this person. Medications are sometimes involved to help someone with an extreme phobia. Self-help groups are available and are good for helping find others who have the same problems as you do, so you know you are not alone.
Simply addressing you have a problem and being open to treatments is a big step in a cure. In a relationship there needs to be a lot of love, patience, and a total understanding of the problem by the significant other. The problem of commitment phobia can be overcome.
Published by Nicole Nichols
I have been writing for many years for my own pleasure. I am a stay-at-home mom of two wonderful boys. I have been married for 9 years and I enjoy reading other people's work. View profile
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- Finding out what caused the phobia is the number one thing in getting to a cure.
- Having emotional help through the process is important.