Trend Sees Rise in Divorce for Older Married Couples

A growing trend among older married couples is divorce. The assumption was younger married couples are more susceptible to divorce. We also thought that the longer a couple had been married, the less likely they would divorce. It turns out that couples who've been married 20, 30, 40, even 50 years are just as susceptible to divorce as their children and grandchildren.

Why, you ask, are older couples getting divorced? Haven't they proven that they can make marriage work? One of the recent shockers in the news last year centered around the divorce of former vice-president Al Gore and his wife Tipper. They'd been childhood sweethearts who married and stayed together for 40 years before going their separate ways.

Deirdre Bair, author of Calling It Quits: Late-Life Divorce and Starting Over, found in her research that older couples are open to the idea of divorce for a variety of reasons. Young couples who are not happy sometimes stay together because of their children. Older couples don't have to be concerned with how their separation will affect adult children who are busy with their own lives. Some divorce in search of freedom. Others depart in search of control of their own futures. Whatever the case, older couples have expectations of personal fulfillment in marriage that day to day routine will not always satisfy. If they are not happy with their current spouse, it's easier for them to leave to pursue happiness in another relationship, or not.

For couples who've been married for two or more decades, this does not have to be our destiny. It is possible to stay together and be happy with each other until death do us part. Here's a few ideas:

Beware of becoming bored and boring. Age brings with it many challenges. Our minds tell us we can do something, but when we try to put our bodies into action, it let us know that our mind tells lies. Doing the things we used to do becomes more of a challenge. Without trying to, we become routine, predictable and boring. It may take extra effort, but decide that your spouse is worth more than just a nodding off in the rocking chair or recliner relationship.

Don't neglect each other. Sometimes we give our best face time and energy to other people on the job, or at gatherings with friends. By the time we get home, there's no face time and energy left for our spouses. We've given it all away, and they get what's left.

Strive to be honest with each other. As people get older, the issues change. What used to annoy has been replaced with something new. Likewise, what used to bring a smile seems silly and outdated. It helps to communicate with each other about wants, dislikes and feelings.

Strive to understand each other. Once your partner has been honest, it is your job to try to understand what they are trying to say without getting offended or taking it personal.

Be best friends. Have you noticed that best friends never tire of one another? An argument doesn't impede their friendship. We don't always like what our best friends say, but we appreciate their honesty. How many people divorce their best friend?

Visit the sites below for more information about late life divorce.

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