Trendy or Timeless?

When I first started reading Girl on Top: Your Guide to Turning Dating Rules into Career Success, my fear was that the book would be a trendy guide and wholly un-useful. While Williams does reference Sex and the City a few too many times for my taste, all of the advice presented in the book is heartfelt and helpful. The format of the book is also ideal for a busy woman; chapters are clearly planned with sub-sections like well-written articles. (I was able to read the entire book in less than a week on my short train commute.)

The beauty of this book lies in the author's ability to become more open and honest with the reader by the page. In the beginning of the book, the rules seem a bit harsh, rigid and even catty-but as the book progresses, Williams reveals her real-life reasons for offering advice up in such a fashion. By the time the most constructive information is offered, I didn't mind being told to get up off my ass or move past negative working relationships-instead, I was nodding in agreement.

Using examples from her career, Williams offers straightforward advice on issues like self-esteem without being preachy or overly-sensitive. Williams offers a scenario in which a male requests a raise from her, the hypothetical boss, to which she responds with a no. "He thinks I'm an ass," she says. In the same scenario, Williams says of the woman: "she thinks she's an ass" (p. 15).

Because Williams offered her more personal experiences-including divorce-to-entrepreneur war stories-I related and felt like she had earned the authority to offer such advice. Uber-feminist books like Skinny Bitch did the opposite for me; as a result, I found the authors pretentious. By contrast, Williams became more realistic about harsh situations through the book while at the same time becoming more personable, making the truths about succeeding as a woman in the workplace much easier to comprehend.

Williams also covers the many things women sometimes say and do which make them seem potentially unprofessional, such as referencing their fathers' opinions instead of their own and relating every work experience to school. This behavior, she asserts, indicates a woman isn't necessary to move forward in a career or in a relationship.

The meat of the book involves a woman's ability to examine her relationship (or potential relationship) with an employer or a man. Chapter 12 is entitled Don't Waste the Pretty. Williams says: "Yes, of course you can both find love and create a kick-ass career into your fifties, sixties, and beyond, but let's be frank: There are only so many optimal-peak performance years you've got to work with and I don't want you wasting your prime with a jackass of a boss who doesn't appreciate all you have to offer" (p. 110).

Having been through a twenty-something divorce myself, I definitely related to this advice: I didn't let a man put me through the abuse of being constantly taken advantage of emotionally...why would I allow my employer to do the same thing?

On the feminist topic, the book title itself was a bit off-putting. Yes, it caught my attention (something called Girl on Top but not about porn?), but I immediately thought this book might only be for the recent college grad, not a woman nearing her third decade like me. While I'm well past the point of truly referring to myself as a 'girl,' the book did in fact apply to me-and it would have also applied to the recently-graduated self I was back in 2003. This versatility adds a timeless aspect to the book. I feel like I could have learned a lot from it five years in the past and I can learn more if I re-read it five years into the future (even though I will hopefully be a part-time freelancer, part-time stay at home mom). This book is certainly a timeless guide and resource for any working woman.

What redeemed this book from the feminist perspective was undoubtedly the author's candor about the subject of feminism. Williams broaches topics like flirtation in the office, dress and appearance and even maternity leave with honesty and finesse. She admits that her views might not be the most feminist-apparent, but that her ultimate aim is to help women succeed in the world as it is (without ever asking the reader to do anything ridiculous, dishonest or immoral).

Above all, the most compelling aspect of this book involves the author's ability to cultivate a woman's individual spirit, whether she's ready to enter the full-time workforce just after college or take her experience into her own entrepreneurial endeavors. In short, the more I read, the more I found myself agreeing with Williams and considering new, empowering possibilities for my career.

For more information, look for Girl on Top: Your Guide to Turning Dating Rules into Career Success by Nicole Williams. Published by Center Street. http://www.girlontopbook.com.

Disclosure: This author received a complimentary copy of Girl on Top.