Trial Marriage- Pagan Ceremony

The idea of being married for a year and a day, after which you decide if you wish to continue the marriage, can seem to be an odd idea to many religious people and also to friend and family of the couple who are getting handfasted. How many parents can understand that their little girl is going to live as a wife for a year and one day, then decide whether to commit to her "husband" for a longer time?

Many Wiccan couples find that explaining this ritual to their loved ones can get confusing, can cause hard feelings, and has been known to tear families apart.

So how do you explain a handfasting to your possibly traditional religious family and friends?

The main thing is to actually explain the history and tradition of handfasting so that they will understand what an ancient and beautiful rite it is.

Originally being handfasted was the same as being betrothed, or in areas where a priest wasn't available at all times it allowed the couple to make their intentions known and live as husband and wife until such time as they could do so legally which at that time meant through the church.

These days handfasting tends to be a choice of the Wiccan, pagan and neo-pagan religions. The ceremony is a celebration of nature, commitment, and tradition with the main theme being that the couple is there with "perfect love and perfect trust" inside a sacred circle, surrounded by those they love and it is a very spiritual and romantic ceremony.

There are many variations of the traditional handfasting ceremony, and many translations as well of the intent of handfasting. A couple can add or leave out just about any elements they choose, making the ceremony unique and special just for them. There are examples of different handfasting ceremonies at: www.handfasting.com as well as a lot of history and explanations of different traditions.

The main part of the handfasting ceremony involves tying the couple's wrists together, binding them to each other for the period of time indicated. Another common element involves jumping a broom, which is also a very old tradition when entering married life together.

Once the handfasting ceremony has taken place the couple will then live as husband and wife for one year and one day, just as in a traditional marriage, which is where the idea of it being a trial marriage comes from. They will honor their vows during that period of time, and at the end of the year and one day if they decide that they do not wish to be married any longer they are free to go their separate ways with out the hassle of a divorce, which many couples face after only a year of marriage. If they decide to continue their commitment they choose the length of time, such as "for as long as this love shall last", "for all eternity", "or for all our lives".

Each couple has to make the decision that works for them, and if after explaining to your family and friends they still do not understand or approve, then the decision is yours to continue as planned or go with a traditional engagement and wedding.

Sources: Wikipedia, Handfasting.com, religioustolerance.org