True Courage

The Jewish ritual of Bar Mitzvah memorializes the entry of a Jewish young man, at the age of thirteen, to the religious obligations of an adult. Nowadays, it means a party and a gathering of family and friends to celebrate; but in our tradition it also marks the time when a boy is deemed a man, able to participate and lead in communal prayer and so forth.


Our friends' grandson was honored the other day. He is an amazing and unusual hero, exhibiting determination and courage. I am benefited from knowing him.


When Jacob was born he suffered what was likely a stroke and was diagnosed as having cerebral palsy. The doctors were not optimistic about the child's future. He was destined to be, the medical experts said, possibly unable to hear, perhaps unable to see and, certainly, to have severe mental and intellectual limits, perhaps being unable to learn beyond the most primitive level. He would be severely handicapped for his lifetime.


As the Rabbi commented, no one told Jake he was handicapped.


On Saturday morning, an extremely poised young man, read confidently from the Torah, a scroll written in ancient Hebrew, but without vowels, perfectly, a task most adults could not accomplish. With the same self-assurance and in a voice that carried throughout the Temple, Jake led the service. The Rabbi was there to step in and assist but the young man needed no help.


Jake is a sports fan and fanatic. He loves and enjoys all sports: baseball, soccer, tennis, and is a proficient player in all. Through dedication, training and, yes, courage, he has taught himself to play a credible game of baseball, throwing and catching with the same arm. No one told him he couldn't do it and he never doubted his abilities and sportsmanship.


Remember the dire warnings about limited learning capacity? Since he never was told that it was hopeless, he has succeeded in school and all activities enjoyed by other young teens. His grades are exemplary He is a member of the National Junior Honor Society, is a 2^nd Class Boy Scout, has received straight A's in middle school and participates in recreational sports each season


Along the way, he developed a keen awareness of others' needs. For example, he noticed that the facility at which he was being treated had equipment and toys for patients that were used in therapy. Many of these items were well worn and in need for replacement; there were no funds available, so Jake took it upon himself to raise money, making innumerable telephone calls and visits to businesses '" and he succeeded mightily.


Jake has a younger sister who has mastered the art of sighing, rolling her eyes to the sky indicating that brothers are a burden to be endured. She clearly loves him and provides support. He has a wonderful full-time working who finds the time to raise her children to be honest, respectful individuals. Up to about two years ago, she brought her son to therapy twice a week. Now Jake's loving, supportive and caring maternal grandparents are chauffeurs taking him to weekly therapy sessions, medical and dental appointments, trainers reinforcing therapy exercises, and, most important fulfilling grandparents' traditional role of dispensers of love and hugs.



Jake has gone far improving his physical condition and with continued guts and determination he will be able to do more. He may end up with an occupation and career that has not been invented yet; he may do the inventing. But what is sure is that his future is not restricted by physical limitations.


Because he has never been told that it could be.


People live up, or down, to their personal expectations. If a person feels he cannot succeed, he faces an extra burden. If, on the other hand, one believes that anything is possible then he is open to greatness. If a child is brought up disparaged by a parent or teacher, or if a racial group is collectively treated as less intelligent than others, the results are predictable, we live to match the expectations of others. To overcome the poor expectations takes determination and courage.


Like Jake.