Trust Issues in Relationships: Building and Keeping Trust 101

We've all heard that you should trust your partner 100%. But truth be told to err is human, so the only realistic way to have trust is understanding each other and having communication. Because let's face it, nobody's perfect and mistakes or simply miscommunications can and probably will made. No, I'm not saying you are doomed but I am emphasizing how being dedicated to your relationship is vital. Relationships have to be constantly evolving and being renovated to stay fresh. So let's delve into this topic a little deeper with some key points.

1. Get to know each other really well. Learn about each other's biggest dreams and worst nightmares. Most importantly, discuss what your moral beliefs are. If you're religious, discuss those beliefs now. Talk about how you two were raised. Learning about each other, your pasts and ideas on life is very important.

2. Figure out the boundaries. Talk about what you believe is acceptable and unacceptable behavior in a relationship. If something makes one of you uncomfortable, discuss that and figure out a compromise. If your partner disagrees with something or certain activities make them uncomfortable, ask yourself if it's worth doing and making them feel that way? Keep in mind if you want to do 'whatever you want' then a commited relationship probably isn't for you. It's not about control from either of you, it's about trust and comfort.

3. Treat him or her as you'd like to be treated. It's not fair for one person to set boundaries and then not be expected to keep the same ones. If you make a margin then you need to keep it as well. It's black and white, there is no gray. Only make limitations you yourself can do.

2. Communicate, communicate and communicate thoroughly. This is super important. The more you are open with what you're up to and what you expect, the less guesswork needs to be done. When there's room for question or uncertainty that's where distrust can creep in. It's not weird, it's human. This shouldn't be difficult if you really love your partner.

3. Don't break boundaries and don't lie. It's important that you don't do either of these because it will put a knot in your trust with your partner. Always be upfront and honest. Use your own conscience, but my saying is if you mess up, fess up! If your partner questions you about something or is suspicious, don't be mad. You first need to access- did you do something to lead them to think something negative? Were you within your boundaries? Did you communicate? If not, calmly explain the miscommunication. Getting angry or defensive is one of the number one signs someone has something to hide, so if you do this you will only aggravate the situation. If you have made a mistake, then don't lie when you're asked. The worst thing that could happen probably will and that is that if your partner finds out, your relationship will be in a load of trouble, or maybe even over.

4. What to do if you have broken trust. So you've done something to breech the trust with your partner, or are on the receiving end of the issue, it's going to take time for recovery. The first thing I'm going to tell you is, that when this happens, especially on a big issue, you are pretty much going back to square 1- when you first started your relationship. If you can do this then that is great but for some it's too much, especially in a long term relationship. In other situations, the trust is never fully regained, but I think it can be. What you need to do is expect that your partner is going to be mad for a while. They may also have more ridged boundaries they expect of you than before. If you want your relationship back, it may take a year or more of you communicating excessively with him or her and respecting all boundaries. You must once again prove your love. If the relationship is worth it to you then go for it. In the end, forgiveness and moving forward is necessary. If that doesn't come with time then there is a problem.

Well, I wish you all well in love and life. I hope these ideas can help any who have had issues with this, or who wish to prevent this kind from arising. Just remember to keep the communication open and flowing so you are always both comfortable with one another. Of course you won't always agree, but it's better to agree to disagree than to have things hidden.