Tu Lan in San Francisco, California: A Restaurant Review

Once upon a time, a long long time ago (seriously long, like back in the early 1990s), renowned television chef Julia Child came to visit San Francisco, and happened to dine at Tu Lan. Apparently pleased with the experience, she then name-dropped it on her show at some point. Since then, it's become a buzzed-up "foodie" spot that people in San Francisco recommend to each other. As to what Julia Child was doing at Sixth and Market in San Francisco, I don't even know man, unless she had some Habits she didn't ever let the public know about.

When an otherwise humble and unassuming restaurant gets some unexpected "big ups" from a high-profile source, what usually happens is that almost immediately the prices go up and the quality goes at least a little bit down. Tu Lan is admirable in at least staying the course despite their out-of-the-blue popularity - the place was always about greasy Vietnamese food served in big portions at a reasonable price, and they've held that down all these years.

This lends more credence to my "Julia was down here buying weed or something" theory because this is definitely the sort of greasy, carb-heavy, large-portion food you want when rocking a buzz. It should be noted that this place is not good for Vietnamese food amateurs as they hit you with a menu right when you walk in and expect you to order on the spot. You could take a few minutes to peruse, but the waitress usually stands there waiting on your order, so you'd kinda look like a big Jerkface to everyone. You'll also hear wussy yuppies say stuff like "come here armed lololololo", but this intersection is a lot more ugly than it is dangerous, at least during the hours that Tu Lan is open. If someone is afraid to walk through 6th and Market they are a weak cracka, you tell 'em I said so.

The menu is a little confusing because "appetizers" are both about the same size and price as regular dishes. On this front the price ranges from five to six bucks and you can get imperial rolls, BBQ pork salad rolls, golden half moon pie, spring rolls, summer rolls or grilled pork meat balls.

There's a range of pho (noodle soup) but it really isn't the specialty of the house and I'd steer clear of it. If you have a pho jones on head up to Little Saigon along Larkin Street instead. If you want to have it here though, it's a little over five bucks a bowl. There's Hanoi beef noodle soup, chicken noodle soup, shrimp and pork noodle soup, beef meatball noodle soup, wonton soup and spicy beef soup. The fact that they call it "noodle soup" rather than pho should clue you in by itself.

From here there's a whole range of noodle, fried rice, chicken, beef, pork, seafood and vegetarian dishes running from around $5.50 to $6.75 per serving. These are really subjective as everyone has their predilections when it comes to greasy and fatty quick serve. I personally stick with a noodle dish like the Pork Kebab w/ Imperial Roll and Rice Noodle, or just some simple chicken fried rice. The vegetarian chow mein really isn't bad either, if perhaps not authentic Vietnamese.

Did I mention there will be a huge line during lunch hours on weekdays? It's never really bad outside of that, though. And they aren't open at all on Sundays. Also, the place isn't exactly the pinnacle of cleanliness. It's acceptable enough, but be aware you are rolling the dice each time that a roach will run up out of your food (I'd give it about 1 in 500 odds of happening.) If you are hardy enough to deal with that, and the inevitable cadre of Tenderbums wasted out of their minds loitering outside, the portion size is nice and the food hits the spot for a greasy fried carb fix. Toke on in heaven, Julia.