Turkey's Lament and Other Family-Friendly Poems

I'm not fond of the holidays
I wish they'd go away
There's nothing those like me hate more
Than old Thanksgiving Day

My cousins are in hiding
My mother's packed her things
My brother's moved to Egypt
My dad's off to Beijing

Last week I read a notice
And this is how it read:
"You'd better get a-goin'
Before you lose your head!"

Last year, you know, I made it through
With just a little luck
(By "luck" I mean some Elmer's Glue
And feathers from a duck)

If only all you humans
Would leave us birds in peace
Unless you make a switch this year
And roast Thanksgiving geese!

I Ate Too Much!

I ate too much of everything
I'm very sad to say
I ate so much of everything
This past Thanksgiving Day

I went off to the doctor
And this is what she said
Eat one more bit of stuffing
And you surely will be dead

Now here you'll see my problem
A sorry fate had I
Because I had most everything
But sweet potato pie

Of course I had to wonder
Oh, what's a girl to do
Now will it really kill me
To have a bite or two

I thought the problem over
And it occurred to me
It couldn't hurt me too much
To have two bites or three

And so I cut a piece of pie
A lean one, not too lush
But true to my Thanksgiving form
I went and ate too much

Now here I am in heaven
And here's the real loss
In all my too much eating
I missed the cranberry sauce

The Unthankful Poem

I'm not thankful for one thing
Not even for my life
Not thankful for my husband
Not thankful for my wife
Not thankful for my daughter
Not thankful for my son
Not thankful for a stranger
No, not for anyone
Not thankful for a driveway
Not thankful for a home
Not thankful for a friend or two
So I don't feel alone
Not thankful for a sandwich
Not thankful for a drink
Not thankful for a moment's pause
In which I get to think
Not thankful for the springtime
Not thankful for the fall
Not thankful for one single thing
I'm thankful for them all