Turning Gloom into Boom: How to Get the Most Out of Fall

With the steady rise of doom and gloom spawning from today's multiple crises (no money, no jobs, no energy, no bees, "it's Revelations I say!), it is far too easy to let the most beautiful season bypass us. If the end of the world really is near, it would be a shame to miss the benefits of fall due to a heart filled with heaping mountains of despair-filled worry. If the current economic agony has resulted in a lack of clean green for the wallet, fear not; one can still get ample enjoyment from this transitional season. Continue reading for ten recession-proof activities to help you get the most out of the season.

1. Jump in a pile of leaves.

Be sure you aren't wearing flip flops as a mound of leaves is more mysterious than a dryer and can devour clothing items without any warning. Long pants are also advisable as various critters have been jumping in leaves long before human critters. Be sure to jump in a pile at least half your height and don't be afraid to dive. Ten bonus points are awarded for using someone else's pile and not your own (just be sure to re-rake them to avoid being shot).

2. Sip on some cider while snuggling with your significant other (or dog/cat) under a fleece blanket.

Apple cider can be found as cheap as $1.99 at your local superstore.

3. Carve a pumpkin. Save the seeds.

The closer you wait for Halloween, the cheaper they will become. The stores will practically give their pumpkins away the day after Halloween. Although no longer seasonal, the experience of carving silly faces into a squash will always be memorable. Be sure to save the seeds. Wash them off, spread them onto a cookie sheet, sprinkle with cinnamon sugar, and bake until brown and crispy.

4. Watch, "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown."

Charlie Brown is a classic. It will be shown on television multiple times throughout the season but can also be viewed for free at your own convenience via youtube.

5. Create your own haunted house and terrify your neighborhood children.

Use only what you have at home. Turn your shed, garage, or front porch into terror. Line the walls with black trash bags. Boil spaghetti and call it brains. Splatter tomato paste or marinara sauce on the walls to use as blood. Find scary Halloween music on the web and play it through your computer. Roll yourself in toilet paper and run around with your arms out. Be creative and use your imagination. It will sure be a hit on the block. If you happen to be amongst the majority of Americans and laid off, you can really do the house up big and charge an admission price to get through. If your haunted house is really top-notch (your neighborhood children will give you honest opinions), call the local news channel and be featured as a haunted house hot spot. Even if it's not all that good, this is the only time of the year it is acceptable for an adult to sling food around and run around with toilet paper on their head!

6. Do something that really is "for the birds".

Find a pinecone, slather it with peanut butter, roll it in inexpensive bird feed, and hang it outside your window. This is a great activity for kids, but who says the adults must miss out in the fun? Personally, I am 25 and nowhere above making bird houses.

7. Take a field trip to your local winery, leaving the whine at home!

Even if you aren't a wine drinker, the winery is sure to be an enjoyable experience that is sure to become a Kodak moment. Most wineries offer free tours that are informative and fun. You can also experience a wine tasting which is either free or cheap. If you don't usually drink wine, ask to try the sweet varieties, you may be surprised. Additionally, you can partake in all the above activities at an apple orchard.

8. Sing "Kum-bay-a" by a fire while toasting marshmallows attached to sticks.

In other words, go camping. Pitch a tent, hike, fish, hunt for mushrooms, watch the stars, and snuggle up under the comforts of a cozy sleeping bag. If being away from the comforts of heat or air conditioning is too much of a frightening though, campout in your living room. Drape blankets over the carpet, turn out the lights, fire up some candles, and turn off all technological distractions. If your residence is not equipped with a fireplace, use a microwave to heat your marshmallow and schlep it between two graham crackers and a Hershey bar.

9. Check out your local fall festival or county/state fair.

Nothing screams fall like eating turkey legs and fried Twinkies while examining the junk of street vendors and admiring performers singing last year's country hit for loose change. If you go to the fair, you get to see pigs, cows, and maybe a yak!

10. Run around in your backyard knocking people down.

Otherwise known as football, this sport thrives in the fall. Organize a couple teams with your family, friends, or neighborhood and bring on the competitive spirit. Otherwise, toss a football around then return to the comforts of your living room for Monday Night Football paired with mini-hotdogs and a big breswky (or sweet tea).

Taking advantage of these tips may not prevent the destruction of our Earth, but it can prevent the anguish felt while waiting for said destruction to occur. Next time you are shopping for signs that the end is near, shop for some caramel apples instead and remember to enjoy at least one last season of autumn cheer!