TV Reality Shows I'd like to See

America flips over watching people lose weight. We watch intently as people compete to be the only survivor on a desolate island. We observe a woman (or man) trying to pick out a true love among a dozen men (or women).

Anymore, watching TV consists of deciding which reality show to watch. Should we watch a bunch of addicts going through a tough time at a rehab center? Should we watch a woman go from dowdy to delightful? Better yet, perhaps we should watch the lives of a bunch of people living together in a house and fighting? Or a family going crazy with anywhere from 8 to 17 kids?

Considering the level of what we normally watch, I have come up with a few great ideas for some reality shows. Here they are:

What Not To Do To Hair

What Not To Do To Hair is the chronicle of hair on top of half a dozen people's heads. The goal is to end up with the most processed hair at the end of the series. The contestant at the end of the season who has the most hair falling out wins. Participants range from a sexy woman's long blonde hair to a middle-aged red-haired housewife, to a bald man in a mid-life crisis. Episode One takes us on a journey of watching people's hair grow, as all participants compete in a hair-growing contest. With bated breath, we watch as each hair grows one millimeter at a time. The spin-off of this show is "Project Paint", during which contestants compete to be the one that can sit the longest watching paint dry.

America Sings Off-Key

Simon Cowell hosts. Watch as contestants screech and scream their way through auditions, finally narrowing down the competitors to the top (bottom?) ten. The competitor who makes Simon Cowell's head finally explode wins a lifetime supply of pitchpipes.

The Tiddly-Wink Contender

The Olympics Tiddly-Wink gold medalist hosts. Follow the lives of 6 men and 6 women who compete to be named the Tiddly-Wink Champion of the World. Watch as they train for the competition by trying to "Tiddly-Wink" steel discs, play Tiddly-Winks underwater, and go through the dreaded Tiddly-Wink obstacle course. In each episode, two Tiddly-Wink players compete against each other and the loser goes home, until there is only one left standing... or, uh, kneeling.

Harm School

Amy Winehouse hosts, with guest appearances from the Westside gang girls. Ten sophisticated, well-brought up girls are put through "Harm School" in which they are taught how to leave their refined ways and become rough street gang girls. They are talk how to talk rough, get in each other's faces, tell mama jokes, and get their first tattoos. Watch as the girls struggle as they learn how to dress slovenly, use incorrect grammar, and get totally wasted.

Rag Revolution

Janice Dickinson hosts. Fashion designers take rags from homeless people and turn them into haute couture items of clothing. Watch as the homeless people hold their heads up high wearing haute couture while pushing their shopping carts. The fashion designers compete for a $50,000 prize, while all the homeless people are given 3 hots and a cot for the duration of the show.

Cheaters

Women who suspect their husbands are cheating on their diets hire a professional surveillance team. After much following, taping, and recording of the man in question, women are taken to the location where their men are cheating on their diets to confront them. In episode one, the husband of one woman is seen going into a hotel room with suspicious items. When the squad bursts open the room door, the man is found on the bed in his underwear, surrounded by luscious food while licking on a spoon dripping in chocolate.

These reality shows will delight and entertain America for years!