TV's Best Captains

People who own boats often take a lot of abuse. First they usually get into hot water with their spouses not only because of the price of the boat but also because of the difficulty of storing the contraption.

Boat owners must also endure the neighbor who whines that their leviathans are eyesores that bring down property values. That same neighbor is usually the one who repeats the old joke directed at boat owners: there are two days a man is happy about his boat- the day he buys it and the day he sells it.

After the boat owners endure their neighbor's pestering, they enthusiastically pursue the laborious task of hitching the boat to their vehicle, thrilled with the vision of finally getting on the water.

On the route there, though, boat owners must overcome more abuse. The drivers who have the misfortune to be behind the boats fling verbal and flip physical insults at the boat owners.

Finally the boat owners back the boat into the water, park the vehicle, and embark. They can shrug off all that abuse from spouses, neighbors, and drivers, for now these boat owners have become captains. They can confidently rank themselves as equals to the famous captains from television. Among these fine fictional seamen are my ten favorites.

10. Lee Crane from "Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea" - David Heddison portrayed Captain Crane, exploring underwater mysteries as captain of the submarine Seaview along with Admiral Harriman Nelson (played by Richard Basehart).

9. Merrill Stubing from "The Love Boat" - This captain (played by Gavin McLeod) steered The Princess, a cruise ship on which love was "exciting and new." Most of the passengers seemed to be unexcited and old actors trying to keep afloat at the end of their acting careers.

8. Porter Ricks from "Flipper" - This captain (played by Brian Kelly) was chief warden at a marine preserve where the lovable dolphin was the star. He also steered the lives of his two sons, Sandy (played by Luke Halpin) and Bud I(played by Tommy Norden).

7. "Captain Kangaroo" - Bob Keeshan was the soft-spoken, lovable host of this long-running children's show that featured Mr. Rabbit, Mr. Greenjeans, and the dancing bear.

6. Dr. R. Quincy from "Quincy" - The most famous forensic specialist (played by Jack Klugman) was a retired U.S. Navy captain, which explains why he lived in a boat when he was not examining corpses.

5. Darryl Dragon from "Captain and Tenille" - The duo hit it big enough with Neil Sedaka's Love Will Keep Us Together to land their own variety show. Toni Tenille was a talented singer, but her captain (Dragon) had years of musical experience with bands such as the Grateful Dead.

4. Wallace Burton Binghamton from "McHale's Navy" - This captain (played by Joe Flynn) was nicknamed Old Leadbottom even though he outranked series star Quinton McHale (played by Ernest Bornine) and his crew on PT-73.

3. Captain Seamus from "Family Guy" - This seaman (voiced by Seth McFarlane) has wood for arms and legs, implying that he may have gotten the worse in some of his sea battles. In spite of his obvious marine struggles, he often gives advice when series star Peter Griffin goes to sea.

2. Horatio McAllister from "The Simpsons" - This captain (voiced by Hank Azaria) is Springfield's marine expert, living on a boat and even running a seafood restaurant.

1. Jonas Grumby from "Gilligan's Island" - Grumby (played by Alan Hale) is better known as Skipper, the captain who should have known "the Minnow would be lost" the minute he made Gilligan (played by Bob Denver) his first mate.