'Twas the Day Before Christmas

'Twas the day before Christmas, and all through D.C.
Democrats frolicked and partied with glee.

Republicans waited with shovels and sticks,
By the fireplace there, to bludgeon St. Nick.

"Who'll pay for these gifts?" They angrily sneered.
"Sure, you look nice. With that suit and that beard!

But your gifting of toys, and turkeys and hams,
Is just one more commie, left-wing program

"You'll make those kids shiftless, and lazy young slobs.
If they want to have toys ... then let them get jobs!"

The voters were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of coverage danced in their heads;

Parents in jammies laid down for their naps,
Trusting the Blue Dogs. Man, were they saps!

I'd just closed my eyes when out on the Mall,
There arose such a ruckus, 'twas a full Senate brawl.

McConnell and Schumer exchanged vicious blows
While Byrd and McCane squared off toe to toe.

Burris took down Coburn with a nasty head butt,
And took all his money, and sent Blago his cut.

Reid took a bullhorn and pled ... "This is wrong,
Gentlemen, please ... can't we all get along?"

But the fight kept on going 'til gunshots rang out
Then everyone stopped and they all turned about.

"You jerks are like children, all whinin' and wailin'
Go back to your rooms." shouted Governor Palin.

Go back to your desks, and act like grown men,
Or I swear you'll end up like the moose in my den."

They all trudged back in, their self-esteem sapped,
Hillary glared ... arms crossed, her foot tapped.

"Damnit you psycho, I won't tell you agin.
You are not the V.P. ... McCain didn't win.

Now give me that gun and get back to Wasilla
We need you to watch for that Russian flotilla."

With that they all walked off ... licking their wounds,
But Thune wasn't done ... he turned and he mooned.

The riot was finished they all got in their cars
They drove off to brothels, rehabs and bars.

Obama called out as he went by on a stroll
"You're all going to pay if I drop in the polls."

Biden smiled and spoke as he bandaged his ear,
"Merry Chriatmas to all and a Happy New Year!

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