Twas' the Night Before Christmas - AC Writers Rendition

Twas' the night before Christmas when all through AC,
Not a CP was stirring, barely even me;
The offers had been sent via PayPal with care,
In hopes no complaints on the forum would bare.

The writers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of January's bonus danced in their heads.
Pondering if Luke Beatty wears a kerchief or cap,
I just settled down for a long winter's nap.

When out on the lawn their arose such a clatter,
I figured someone would call the police if it was any matter.
Then I thought of my new camera and loaded the flash,
Articles with photos, ya know, may mean more cash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Reminded me to write an article about shoveling just so.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a sleigh full of SEO tools, and some cool AC gear.

With an AdSense driver so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Click.
More rapid than a spam bot his coursers they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name:

"Now, Keyword! now Density! now, Word Count and Yahoo!
On MySpace!, On FaceBook!, On Stumble and Pageview!
To the top of the tools page! to the top of content walls!
Now optimize, optimize, SEO away all."

As search engine rankings on a daily basis fly,
When they meet with some keyword scum after your pie,
So across my flat screen the AC tools flew,

My WiFi was so insecure, and St. Click obviously knew.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the speaker.
Some static and gibberish, my signal growing weaker.
As I smacked the cheap plastic, and was turning around,
On the computer came St. Click in Dolby Digital sound.

He was dressed in contextual ads from his head to his foot,
No white space existed so I knew he had some click loot;
A 3-D Sim, I could make out his back,
Where he had "search-able content" written in black.

His eyes -- how they glowed from computer radiation!

His cheeks looked like they needed a serious vacation!

Out of his mouth the first pop-up came,

"If you want higher offers learn the SEO game."

A torn page of Shakespeare he crumbled in his hand,
The master's prose would have never survived SEO land.

He had a Second Life face and a Photoshop belly,
In real life, he may really be bald, fat and smelly,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of my dread.
.
A wink of his eye and a freaky twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know, I better watch instead;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to my drive,
And filled my program folders with a file archive,
And giving a nod, into cyberspace he rose;

So here I sit with the tools to increase my average offer,
Good thing I wasn't acting my usual scoffer.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy pagviews to all, start promoting tonight! "