Twelve Reasons Many Older Men Aren't Married

Poor thing. He's a widower (or long since divorced), lives in a nice house with a yard big enough for ponds. He is retired from one of the professions and has a fairly good income. He attends church regularly and misses being married... so why isn't he? This guy isn't married because no one in their right mind would live with him! ...and these are the reasons why ....

He is a christian. He teaches Sunday School and spouts verses from the Bible as if it is the be all and end all of the universe... except he gets it all screwed up and twists the Bible to suit his own agenda.

He is an expert on absolutely everything and uses shouting others down as a tool to prove to himself that he is right.

He is a mean, belligerent drunk. Of course, HE thinks he is drinking "a" (one) coffee cup of red wine after dinner to help him ward off heart disease. Not so. He drinks from 5 PM until he falls in bed drunk sometime between 8 and 10 PM. If you get in his way or say anything he decides he doesn't like during that time, he'll cuss you like a drunken sailor.

He lives like a pig. You discover that it was his last wife who died in an automobile accident. There were 3 more before that, all of whom divorced him. He giggles and says his Indian name is "makes messes." The man is a pig and doesn't even try to get rid of the house full of field mice he is living with. Food in the pantry went out of date 5 years ago. Food in the refrigerator and in the microwave is a network of science projects. There is food on the dishes in the cabinets. ...and we won't even talk about how many plastic grocery carry-out bags, empty jars, and empty plastic containers he's got.

He dresses like a hobo. He is proud of the fact that his dead wife got him all those cargo pants from Goodwill. There are holes in them from knee to ankle (she's been dead for years), but he keeps wearing them - as well as the ripped shirts. They look as if they are from somewhere in the 70s, but he has a penchant for turtleneck shirts under long sleeve sport shirts. Wasn't that from back in the 50s?

He got a new cat. She's afraid of him. You have personally witnessed him cursing her at the top of his voice when she didn't chase a mouse "on command." He has 2 dogs. One is in heat. He refuses to close his gate. He's going to teach her to stay in the yard. You discover he's only had her a month and believes she should go through her first heat before being spayed. He gives his dogs bones - all kinds of bones. One has bad hips and he throws a frisbee for him every day until he catches 12. Never mind that the dog can barely walk at the end of it.

His volume for bodily functions (coughing, sneezing, lamenting, etc) is on high and he seems to think he's "cute."

He cannot dance and persists in attempting to stomp you to death on the dance floor - oblivious to the sympathy you are getting from others trapped on the dance floor with you.

Manners? What's that? Never heard of them! Looks absolutely bizarre when he's eating and ends up with as much on and around him as ends up in his mouth.
He makes comments when others aren't around... ugly comments about fat people, thin people, rich people, poor people, political candidates, people of other races, tall people, short people, and people of other religions or ethnicities.

Stewardship of possessions is a foreign concept to him. The house needs pressure washing. The yard needs mowing. The car needs washing. Things look ok from a distance - just don't get too close.

He has no close friends. Shouldn't that be clue number one?

And there you have it. 12 reasons that a nice man like him isn't married... and 12 things you need to check for on the first or second date, certainly before the third date, because your time is far too valuable to waste on someone who is unsuitable for marriage and likes it that way. Lamenting that he wants to be married is just something he does to hear his head rattle. How can you tell? Because he isn't doing one single thing to become the kind of civilized human being that a sane woman could live with.