Twenty-Five to Fifty-Five: Most Perplexing Yet Fulfilling Time in a Woman's Life

Let's see, twenty five, oh yes I have a somewhat vague recollection of this stage in my life, albeit a blurry one. It was a very stressful time trying to figure out whether or not I had the stamina for a "career" and motherhood or if I was just going to pass myself off as a worker bee, grab quick power naps at my desk and wait till the last minute to pull something together that could pass for good solid work to present to the Queen Bee aka Mistress of Doom. Now cut me some slack here, it's not like I had a choice, I had to work, it was either that or panhandle on the street corner and I have no discernable talents worth showcasing. Yes, twenty five was a hard age.

Before I knew it I was in my thirties, I just thought twenty five was hard; this time in my life was filled with much guilt and angst. Was I being a good wife as well as a good mother, or was that even an attainable goal? Who had time to pay attention to my husband, I did good to get a bath and brush my teeth everyday, then fall into bed for MAYBE four hours sleep before starting the cycle of torture all over again the next day. I'm sure that my husband has a whole different take on this time in our lives, but I was being all that I could be, right or wrong and he could just take it or leave it, I mean I wasn't super mom and I certainly wasn't Debbie Does Dallas in the boudoir but I did my best. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!!! Who has the time or energy to be Debbie anyway?!? We were all too busy checking or teenagers drawers for drug paraphernalia and condoms, who had time for a sex life, we were too freaked out that our babies might be having a sex life of their own or even a better one than ours at that. EEEWWWW!!! That image is almost as gross as the one of our own parents having sex. No, that's not gross, it's downright disgusting!! But my mother always said that sex after forty was the best (don't even ask how that conversation took place, you'll have to consult my psychiatrist for those details) so I held my breath and waited. I knew that hotel sex was always better than regular old sex but I had my doubts about the whole forties sex thing.

My forties began with a bang or should I say one big HOT FLASH after another! Early menopause, YEAH!!! I flushed so often that people were constantly asking me if I was o.k., did I need a drink of water or to sit down for a minute. No, I just need you stupid people to mind your own damn business, thank you very much! And as if the hot flashes weren't enough, my husband decided to have sympathy mood swings (I always felt gypped that I didn't get to be the _itch-on-a-stick everyone always told me I would be during this time). I kid you not, my sweet, tolerant, patient husband turned into a banshee from hell!!! It seems that after twenty five years on the job, everything and everybody drove him to distraction. The term Road Rage didn't even begin to describe this man's behavior. I tried to tell him that those people in the other cars couldn't hear a word he was saying but I sure could and could he please keep it below 50 decibels and six curse words per second?!? I swear I thought I was going to have to smother him in his sleep.

Finally at age forty five, after twenty five years of raising children in a small college town, my husband and I ran away to the big city to find a life of our own. We were 450 miles away from our kids in a nice loft apartment on the river, going to free jazz and blues concerts, watching John Travolta film his latest movie just outside our door and just plain doing nothing whenever and wherever we wanted. We were in middle aged heaven, although we missed the kids, we found each other. We got reacquainted and reminded each other why we fell in love in the first place. My mother was right by the way; I'll let you read anything you like into that statement.

We see our kids and grandbaby on a regular basis and after about three or four days we kiss them all, get in the car and drive away with a big smile on our faces as we wave goodbye. I would recommend running away from home to anyone. Seize the opportunity if it comes or make it happen as we did if it doesn't, I can promise you won't regret it.

All and all I've had a pretty good life. I can't wait till I turn fifty, Oprah says that it has been the most enlightening time in her life (but then again she can pay to be enlightened, us working stiffs have little or no chance of actually meeting the Dali Llama). If fifty is half as good as the sum of all of the years that came before, then I think I'll be o.k. Life hasn't exactly been a bowl of cherries but I've had more sweet than pits and that's alright by me.