Twenty Ways to Romance a Woman

Have you ever wondered why some guys always seem to have a girlfriend and you don't? Why some guys never seem to mind if they break up with their girlfriend and, on the off-chance that you have a girlfriend, you turn into a pile of molten mush when you break up with your female companion? It's simple. These guys know how to romance the fairer sex. So, as a result, they will never be without female companionship for very long.

Well, now you can have this same confidence. No, I'm not trying to sell anything, and you don't have to call a special 900 number to learn the secret. Just follow these simple rules and you will always be able to spend most of your time with a member of the fairer sex, as opposed to spending all of your time talking trash about the opposite sex with your buddies over a couple of cold ones.

20) The first rule on the list is a tried and true method as long as it is used sparingly and with total sincerity (you know what sincerity means don't you? Actually MEANING what you say and not just saying what your potential mate wants to hear). This rule is especially important at the beginning of a potential relationship. BUY HER FLOWERS! Flowers are always a good way of letting her know that you are thinking about her. But don't overdo it. If you have a standing order at the local FTD, sending flowers will soon lose all meaning.

19) In the beginning, stand up for them when someone talks trash. You don't necessarily have to pull a Van Damme on every Joe who mouths off, but make sure you let people know that you have her back. Women love it when they think someone is on their side, even if they are wrong.

18) By the same token, don't talk trash about her friends. She tells them everything and you will lose that battle every time.

17) Don't wait until a special anniversary or holiday to take a trip together. At the drop of a hat, whisk her away to a remote cabin in the woods and spend the weekend together. By the way, this rule is not an excuse for you to hijack her to a remote location and go fishing all day. If she likes fishing, take her with you. But if she doesn't, spend the time with her. You can go fishing when you go away with your buddies.

16) Always, and I can't emphasize this enough, always be Prince Charming with her parents, especially her dad. No matter what, you will always be the scum who is taking away his little girl. That is a battle you don't want, and will never win. So don't give him any ammunition.

15) Drive out of your way just to spend a few minutes with her. This will show her that you don't mind a little inconvenience if the pay off is seeing her smile.

14) Brush her hair out of face for her. This is a classic and never fails.

13) Make eye contact when you're talking to her. If you are constantly staring nine inches south of her eyes, she won't take you seriously.

12) Take her to a romantic movie and make sure you cry at the same parts she does. This will tell her you are in sync with what she's feeling. But, again, don't overdo it. No woman wants to be seen with a crybaby.

11) Break every one of your parent's relationship rules for your mate. This will show her that her ideas and values are more important to than your mother's ideas and values. She doesn't want to compete with dear ole' Mom.

10) Hold her hand, look into her eyes, kiss her fingertips, and place her hand on your...heart. (You thought I was going to say lap, didn't you? You Perv!)

9) Cook dinner for her---Spaghetti (ever seen Lady and the Tramp? Nuff said)

8) Ask her what she likes in the bedroom---AND DO IT! It's not all about your happiness. Believe it or not, girls like sex to. And the ones who are waiting, honor that too.

7) Work out on a regular basis. Girls are religious about claiming that looks are not important, but they are just like us guys. They don't want to be seen with a disgusting pig.

6) Save the t-shirts and jeans for the guys' night out. She went to a lot of trouble to look good for your date. Give her the same consideration.

5) Make her laugh. If you keep her laughing, she won't realize what a schmuck you really are.

4) Make a fool of yourself.

3) 69----you figure it out.

2) The number two rule for romancing your girl is in some ways, actually the number one rule for a successful romance. LISTEN TO HER! Don't try to solve all her problems for her. She just wants you to listen to her talk about her stupid boss, her inconsiderate co-worker, and the mechanic who tried to rip her off. By the way, when I say listen to her, I don't mean just nod your head while she is talking. There will be a test later.

1) And the number one way to romance your girl is a sure-fire winner all the time. No matter what you look like, no matter if you are smart or stupid, no matter if you have a reputation as a luv'em and leave'um type of guy. You will always succeed with the number one way to romance your girl. Win the lottery! Money can buy a lot of romance.