Twenty-four Hour Video Surveillance

Every word I say, smile I crack, obscenity I shriek (mostly while driving-oh, come on, it happens to the best of us) is recorded for playback at the most inappropriate and inconvenient time.

Maybe it's good. I certainly see my behavior reflected back to me on a minute-by-minute basis. Let's be optimistic and call it a learning experience. It's much less expensive than therapy.

I knew parenting would be incredible, challenging, hilarious and unpredictable, what I hadn't counted on, was the twenty-four hour surveillance; the continuous observation-with commentary.

Perhaps I was naïve but it never occurred to me that my parenting advice to my daughter about a "better" way to ask for juice, would be hijacked a minute later in the car as I careened, barely missing a BMW that swerved into my lane, "Mommy, watch your tone."

Yes, I believe we can all use a little help. Perhaps reality shows and Dr. Phil get results, but I expected more. Reality Shows have writers (surely, by now, you know this) and Dr. Phil, well; at least he's "produced." I want a producer, an editor and a writer. If I'm going to have my every action recorded, at least I should get a chance to edit-for creative license, if you will.

Instead, I have to settle for my internal editor. I find I answer questions more slowly than before. I pause when asked anything requiring more than a yes or no answer.

I never expected parenting to be what it is, but then again, what would be the fun in that?