Twilight the Movie, Not a Review, but an Uniformed Opinion

Just a few little points I'd like to raise about Twilight. These are not picks at the movie itself, I'll let its quality or lack thereof speak for itself. They are just little questions about the Twilight concept that crawl around in my brain most disturbingly.

1. Does no one else find it vaguely creepy that a 108 year old man is cruising around high schools picking up teenagers? Here he is, born in the last century, probably could have dated the heroine's great grandmother, and he's going to the prom. There was a Buffy episode in the first season I always felt was rather creepy. It consists of a middle aged mother exchanging bodies with her teenage daughter so she could go back to high school again. A forty plus woman making use of the ultimate cosmetic effect so she can dance the cheerleader hoochie coochie for a bunch of sixteen year olds. And the Twilight situation is a hundred times worse because he's a hundred and eight! I realize that his dating options are limited, but what the heck is a 100+ year old man going to talk to a sixteen year old about? World War I? The League of Nations? How freaked out he was the first time he heard a radio? Come to think of it, the whole Angel-Buffy relationship is starting to creep me out a bit, for it is the same thing! And Peter Pan and Wendy! Aghhh!

2. Look, there's really got to be a line where a supernatural creature is no longer called a vampire. If they don't fear the sunlight, crosses, garlic, running water, mirrors, holy water, and don't have to sleep in coffins, I'm not sure they can really qualify as vampires anymore. Super physical abilities and immortality does not a vampire make. They don't even need blood, they just like the taste! These critters might as well be Faeries or Leprechauns, they're as close to them as they are to vampires.

3. And who the heck in the late 1800's and 1900's was making teenage vampires anyway? Not Edward Cullen per se, but the others. People weren't even taken seriously in those days until their late twenties. It was an age of age. And the seasoned experienced guy was the one to be taken seriously. Not to mention a skinny body was generally considered a sign of poverty and lack of good physical health. So who back in the day was creating all these ugly, baby vampires? Given their looks and temperament, (perpetual children), I would guess a pervert with a thing for teenagers.

Once again, not a criticism of film, book or franchise, just a few points to consider while peering into the cool dark eyes of the not-so undead on your television this year. Enjoy!