Twins: How to Help Them Have Friends

Twins have had to share space since conception. Some times when we welcome them into the world we forget they are individuals. Even as we speak of them, often we just say "the twins".

What are some the gifts that we can give these children that will help them get along?

~ The gift of personal space

From the time they are born if it is at all feasible each child should have their own room. Don't worry that this will somehow severe the bond. Later when they can crawl out of bed on their own they may congregate, but it will be their choice. If one bedroom is the only option a partition is not a bad plan. Remember every deserves to have personal space to use when they want it.

~The gift of individual possessions

It's tempting to either buy two of the same thing or make them share everything and that hardly seems fair. Learning life lessons happen when we are young. It there are two of everything a child never has to share. If they never have to want something that belongs to someone else and they can not have, they have not learned a valuable life lesson.

So make sure they each have different toys, not just different colors. Make sure they have their own possessions to care for.

~The gift of other friends and playmates

It is simple when there are two to just let them entertain each other, but they will end up arguing and will have limited social skills. So send them on separate play dates. Invite a friend to the house for one of the children and let the other go visit Grandma. They are not a package deal.

~The gift of individual talents

Encourage them to explore different and separate talents. They may be musically inclined, but have them play different instruments. Perhaps sports are and interest. Could one play soccer and the other play basketball? They can't be arguing if one is on the field and the other is in the stands with Mom and Dad.

~The gift of a unique wardrobe

It's true, every parent of twins need to have pictures where they are dressed alike. It's part of the tradition. But the tradition can end as soon as they are able to pick out something to wear (or sooner). Multiples are often seen on television rolling their eyes because they had to come in costume. NO one want their child to feel like they are always wearing a costume.

You may have noticed a reoccurring theme. Twins treated as individuals are more likely to get along better. Not only with each other but with the outside world as well. Chances are they will still be best friends and have many of the same interests.