Twitter Celebrities: Dead Cultural Icons Who Would've Owned Twitter

As easy as it is to rip on celebrities on twitters, they gather hundreds of thousand and even multiple millions of followers for a reason. Although Shaq and Ashton actually do provide decent content, the whole fuss over Twitter celebrities got me thinking about some cultural icons that are no longer with us who might have been fine additions to the upper echelons of Twitter users.

Mitch Hedberg

If Hedberg had managed to stick around for another decade, that dude would have been perfect for Twitter. Mitch Hedberg had all the absurd observations and lone eccentricity that makes for the best of the top Twitter users. The master of the modern one-liner, Hedberg's abrupt delivery and non-sequitors are just about perfect for the terse format of 140 characters or less.

ex: @DforDonut: If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn't type any slower.

Oscar Wilde

Vacuous and self-important, Oscar Wilde's endless homilies and woolgathering would have been right at home on Twitter. I can see him now, typing away with a smug smile as he cunningly snipes away at some fourteen year old twerp from Australia.

ex: @dorian4eva: America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.

Hunter S Thompson

Although I doubt Thompson would have exactly been an early adopter of social networking platforms, the guy would have no doubt quickly gathered a crowd of rabid, inebriated followers. His ability to cut through the crap and reveal the flawed state of the world would have been a welcome addition to the finer side of Twitter, even if most of his comments were just links to Guns & Ammo articles.

ex: @fearnloathing: I feel the same way about disco as I do about herpes.

Emily Dickinson

When I asked the folks in my Twitter stream about this subject, melbrehl came up with Emily Dickinson, explaining that she "would've been great on twitter, because she was a brilliant, pithy shut-in." I think she's on to something with that. Like many modern day Mister and Miss Lonelyhearts, Dickinson almost certainly would have whiled away the hours with a semi-satisfying social network, sending off her daily observations along with the rest of the introspective agoraphobes.

ex: @wildnights: Celebrity is the chastisement of merit and the punishment of talent.

Sources:

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/e/emily_dickinson.html
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Mitch_Hedberg
http://www.alternativereel.com/includes/top-ten/display_review.php?id=00076