Two Boys, Two Girls: How I Named Each of My Four Children

I am the mother of four children. I have two boys, and two girls. Naming them has been an interesting journey of self discovery at times, and a process of gaining insight into my husband's personality at other times. Looking back, it seems that my children's names are more a reflection of my personality than an influence on who they might become.

When I became pregnant with my first in 1999, I was a young mother at 20, and pondered names that I'm sure would have reflected that. Had my firstborn been a girl, I had my heart set on calling the child Damia Whimsy. Thankfully, I gave birth to a boy. I still chose a most unusual name, Keeghan Drake, however not a name that only belongs in a sci-fi novel. I wanted him to have a name that is unique, but not weird. Ironically, one of his best friends now is named Keegan.

So, next came a daughter in 2002. I had a relationship with my own mother that was strained at best, and being emotionally wrought and grasping for a way to make peace, I asked my mother's permission to call my daughter Donna Kelly. Donna after her, and Kelly because I'd always like the name. It didn't occur to me until years later that to give my child this name would be screaming "I'm a 90210 addict!" My mother simply rejected the name with no explanation, and so my second was named Kathryn Amanda Tourney. Talk about a mouthful. Kathryn because I liked the name, Amanda after a childhood friend, and Tourney after my grandmother who died while I was pregnant with her. Afterward, I learned what a paperwork headache it is to give your child two middle names.

When I learned I was expecting another boy in 2005, Keeghan and Kathryn were very excited, Keeghan especially. They both wanted to help name the baby, and Kathryn made the predictable suggestions of Ariel and Belle. We watched A Baby Story on TLC endlessly, and one day we saw an episode in which a couple named their baby boy Collin. Keeghan liked it, and when he made the suggestion, I remembered when my own baby brother was born. Mom and Dad picked his names, but they let me choose the order. I always felt a sense of pride over getting to "name" him. My husband and I liked Keeghan's suggestion, and I hoped he might remember naming his little brother too, so now we have Collin Emery. Emery is my father-in-law's middle name, and he makes a point to share this tidbit whenever introducing his grandson to anyone. It's very sweet.

I gave birth one last time in January of 2008, and this was the most difficult naming process of them all. My husband and I debated pros and cons of names from A to Z literally before I even conceived. We liked the names Amy, Carol, and Zoya. He wanted to name her after me. I didn't want to seem egotistical, or make our lives even more confusing than having four children would. I really like Carol Kay, in keeping with the K sounding names, and with the family names we'd been choosing. Carol would have been after my grandmother again, and Kay for my husband's grandmother. We finally agreed on Zoya Kay when I discovered that the name Zoya means life, just like my name does.