Types of Couples

There are relationships in which one of the partners is temperamental and explosive and the other is quiet and very calm. Certainly, both partners have difficulties to express their emotions, but together they seem to complete each other. The temperamental helps the relationship to not become boring and the other appeases the conflicts.

Unconscious compatibility

Each of us has a map that represents his life experiences and the traces left by these experiences. This map also contains information related to our fears, to the mechanisms by which we try to protect ourselves from possible disappointments that could lead to a broken heart. Also, each of us has the ability to scan the other's map. We are attracted by the persons whose map completes our own map or which are similar to it. We are attracted by persons who went through experiences similar to ours.

Attraction for the opposite

In the case of unconscious compatibility, our choices are dictated by complementary needs. When it comes about attraction towards someone who is totally different than us, the choice is determined by the need to know someone different from us, someone who developed different habits than us in managing the life challenges, in order to be able to learn something new from him.

Thus the ideal partner would be someone who has reacted differently to the way in which we reacted to the life challenges.

Parent - child

It is the kind of couple where one partner acts childish. He lives feelings of insecurity, addiction and needs a partner who can take care of him, a guardian. This way, the partner will take the role of a parent, satisfying his need to have someone to take care of, to feel useful and valuable only in relation to the other.

Master - slave

Such couples have a problem with authority and control. One of the partners, the slave, feels very insecure and therefore he subordinates to the other. The other takes control over the life and relationship of the "weak" one. Thus, the master has authority and control in the relationship and the "slave" lives his life after his rules, feeling safe in this way.

The dog and cat

This couple argues permanently from any trifle. Both of them avoid intimacy preferring to live in a "conflict zone".

Idol and fan

When one of the partners wants with any price to extol the other, then it's about a couple in which one of the partners is afraid of competition. To run away from any form of comparison, both partners admit unconsciously to

be part of this type of couple.

Although these seem to be dysfunctional couples, as long as the two find the way to each other, satisfying their needs and desires, the things are going good.

But there are also cases in which one of the partners solves his problem and gets out of the circle of fears, feeling that he no longer fits in the couple. Then he doesn't find anymore the way of communication. This is the moment when problems can occur in such couples.

Sources: ideas.repec.org/p/wop/nwuipr/99-5.html, http://studiesoflove.com/marriage/5typesmarriage.html, www.popline.org/docs/0867/208453.html