Types of Women to Avoid in the Modern Dating Scene and How to Recognize Them

Listen up guys - The modern dating scene is a huge minefield, rife with charming women... with mental issues and/or ulterior motives.

You know the women I'm talking about - At first they appear fantastic, but if you pick them up, they WILL blow your arms off.

Here is a multi-part survival guide to help you recognize their multiple types and tactics.

#1 The Internet Seductress - She will contact you via Myspace, Facebook, or that emo/goth/guy-liner online community you are a part of. She will compliment you on one of your favorite songs/books/whatever is on your page, no matter how bad your tastes may be.

She will tell you that you are sexy - even if the best picture of you on your profile is the one where you are doing a keg-stand with a bunch of sweaty shirtless dudes holding your ankles and pretending it doesn't look fruity.

Her profile picture will be a head shot that makes her look kinda cute, so of course you will browse her pictures with high hopes - but strangely all you will find are head shots, or strategically taken photos that show all kinds of busty cleavage but yet leave out the rest of her physique.

You will find yourself thinking: Aw yeahhh, she's TOTALLY into me. I bet she's a fox! I think I want to meet this girl!

STOP! Before you get ahead of yourself in fantasy land - take a closer look. -THERE, in picture #27, you can see her pinky, but... it looks like a jumbo sausage! Yeah that's right, your beloved Internet princess - the one who lists her build as "athletic" - is really "a whole lotta love".

Through the art of strategic photo angles and deceptive chat sessions, she will conceal her planetary figure. That is, until her gravitational pull lures you into a real-life meeting at Starbucks, where you will find yourself desperately scanning the tables for your online hottie, until you realize - hey, that's not a couch in the corner - that's SexyBaby85, in all her muffin-topped glory, and she is eye-raping you like a starving grizzly bear confronted with a wheelbarrow full of pork chops.

A single tear will fall from your face and into your soy chai latte as she grunts your name and beckons you over - and you, without your thermal-detonator, will be helpless to resist.

Do your research. Don't fall for just a head shot, or some boobs squished up all nice. Ask to see full profile pictures. If she hedges, she may be attempting to trick you, and any woman who tries to deceive you about her appearance is no good.

Remember gentlemen - if she makes Free Willy look like a tic-tac, you deserve to know BEFORE you get to SeaWorld.
In my forthcoming article, I will show you the second type of woman to avoid dating - #2 The Biological Clocker.