Typical Filipino Courtship and Marriage

Most Filipino ladies are reserved type. They will wait for the men to do the first move in courting rather than them to initiate the first move even if they liked the guy because it is embarrassing for Filipino women to take the advance move in courtship. Most Filipino guys don't like a woman who flirts. It will turned them off. They usually pursue, feminine and refined woman. I was born and raised in the Philippines. I migrated here in the US just recently and thought of sharing the Filipino culture.

Typical Filipinos are very conservative people. Parents will not allow their daughters to go out on a date without chaperons. If a man wants to date a woman, he should asked the parents' permission. He should tell them where they will go, and what time they will be home and most often they will have chaperons. Most parents do not allow their daughters to go to secluded places with a man to avoid temptations and the appearance of evil as what they said. When the woman dis obeyed her parents, she will be grounded. Parents preferred that the man will visit and meet their daughters at home rather than anywhere else. Before the man or the woman get into relationship, their parents should know whom they were getting involved to. Their family and friends would help to observe the person then they will give their approval. Most relationships that were not approved by family and friends will not last long. Members of the family and the friends are influential people in Filipino courtship and even marriage. It is customary for Filipinos to have concerned with their family and friends' lives and whereabouts because they are the ones who would offer help when problem comes. Filipinos really care about each other in any circumstance.

When a man propose for marriage, he and his parents together with some relatives will go to the house of his bride to be bringing food. We call this "pamanhikan". Somebody will serve as spokesman for the proposal. When the lady's parents accept the proposal, they will be given priority to do the planning. The date, the ceremony and the type of party they want to have for their daughter. The man will be the one to provide all the financial needs for the wedding and that includes the manual labor like helping for the decorations, preparing for the program and party, serving the visitors etc. Every detail of financial aspect, will be the man's responsibility. A Filipino man should be prepared financially before he will propose for marriage because he has to spend for everything. Most often, he will be expected to shoulder the fare expenses of the relatives who are living far away and wish to attend the ceremony specially if they are participants of the wedding program. After the wedding party, the groom will take his bride to his parent's house and stay there for awhile before they will live for their own. That is why it is very important to know the families of both sides very well before marriage so that it will not be hard to deal with the in laws. Filipinos have close family ties, meaning the children live with their parents even if they are at the right age to live alone so the bride who lives with her in laws will have to deal not only her husband's parents but also with his brothers and sisters living with them. There are times that some relatives are living with them too.

It is very important for a man to be financially stable before getting married so that they will not live with his parents for a long time after marriage. Parents still give their support to their children when they need it even if they are already married. Full support will be given if the marriage is approved by both sides. Married life is given too much concern by the Filipino people because there is no divorce in the Philippines. Therefore, Filipino man and woman who will get married should know their partners well. They must be committed to be together for life no matter what happens. Since there's no divorce in the Philippines, no one can legally remarry unless the former marriage is annulled but it takes a long process and a lot of money to do it. It is an instinct to typical Filipinos to stay with their partners for life through thick and thin, for better or for worse no matter what happens because that is their culture.