UFO Sighting Near Stephenville, Texas

Finally, something to distract us from what appears to be an eternal presidential campaign and war in the middle east. Even better, it appears to be good news. The aliens are coming!

Tuesday, January 8, 2008 - Folks near Stephenville claim they saw an unidentified flying object that was about a mile long, half a mile wide, with flashing lights, being pursued by fighter jets. The object was flying very close to the ground, according to witnesses. Of course, out of the dozens of witnesses, none appear to have had a camera phone or video camera available at the time. The government, while it admits military aircraft may have been in the area at the time, says that there were no unauthorized aircraft detected in the area when alleged sightings occurred. Of course there were no alerts or unauthorized aircraft detections. We all know that any alien race capable of building an interstellar spacecraft with that kind of mass and speed, plus the ability to fly inside the earth's atmosphere (space flight and atmospheric flight have very different challenges) could also easily have shielded themselves from our primitive sensing systems. They can't shield themselves from human eye sight, however, because that would require magic, and we all know there's no such thing as magic, just like Nessie and the post 1960 thylacine.

One of the witnesses, Ricky Sorrells, says he got a really good look at the mysterious craft through the scope on his rifle.

That's how I know the aliens are good guys.

Being such a scientifically advanced race, I'm sure they had equipment that let them know that a weapon was being aimed at them. They chose not to fire their laser cannons at Mr. Sorrells out of pure benevolence. Hopefully the next time they visit us, Mr. Sorrells will use a camera instead of a rifle scope to view them.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch (literally), flocks of "UFO investigators" and other kooks are gathering near the sighting location and theories from the practical to the bizarre are springing up like wild onions in St. Augustine lawns. Some folks claim it's a sign of the end times. The rapture is nigh, the government knows it, and the men in black are staging fake UFO sightings so they can explain away the coming mass disapearances. Others claim it was an optical illusion created by lights on multiple military aircraft flying in formation.

Maj. Karl Lewis,spokesman for the 301st Fighter Wing at the Joint Reserve Base, Naval Air Station in Fort Worth, thinks it was the sunset.

Naw, aliens couldn't live in the sun, it'd be to hot...but wait, maybe they only live there at night!