Unassisted Childbirth: Cedric Orin's Birth Story

My first son was born in a hospital, and the experience was less than satisfying. Before trying to conceive our second child, I began researching pregnancy and birth. I discovered that many of the interventions of my son's birth could have been dangerous for us both. I also learned that many of the invasive, uncomfortable tests done during my pregnancy were unnecessary--even potentially harmful as well.

I began reading about midwifery and homebirth, and my whole perspective on what pregnancy and birth could be changed. Once I decided to have a midwife-assisted pregnancy and homebirth, I ventured into the world of unassisted childbirth and pregnancy out of curiosity. After much soul-searching, I knew this was the right choice for us, and I felt it was the best way to protect my child from unsafe and unnecessary intervention.

Throughout my pregnancy, I researched complications of pregnancy and birth. I found out how to handle them and when to go to the hospital for medical attention. I learned from midwives and mothers who had gone before me. I took good care of myself and monitored my body for signs of complications. I researched birth practices of other cultures and explored alternative methods of alleviating pain. I had to change my entire way of thinking about pregnancy and birth.

As I became more confident, so did my husband. Attending an unassisted childbirth gathering a week before my due date helped as well. As my due date neared, I knew I was ready to face natural childbirth undaunted by fear.

I volunteered to participate in a documentary about freebirth (which will air in the UK sometime next year), and the producers arrived when I was 38 weeks pregnant. My stepmother and close friend, Malinda, arrived exactly a week before my due date on Saturday, September 22. The next day, Sunday, we all went to the Garden of the Gods. It is a very beautiful park centered around magnificent rock formations. We thought it would be a nice place to do some filming for the documentary. We did quite a bit of walking, which we hoped would bring on my labor. Apparently, it did.

At 3 AM Monday morning, September 24, I woke up to use the bathroom. I discovered I was losing my mucus plug. I roused my husband Corey to tell him the baby would be coming soon, definitely in a few days. While getting a drink downstairs, I accidentally woke Malinda. Since labor seemed imminent, we spent a few minutes going over the birth plans--so at least one person would be briefed! During our conversation I had to use the bathroom again, and I had some diarrhea. I came out and told Malinda, "The baby is coming today." We finished up our talk, and I headed back to bed.

As I said goodnight to my stepmother on the staircase, I felt the first gentle contraction. I laid down in bed and tried to sleep, but I couldn't. The contractions weren't strong enough to keep me awake, but I was so excited. Corbin rolled over into my arms, and I lay there holding him for the longest time. I watched him dreaming, thinking how it might be my last chance to do so for a while. I knew that after that day, I would probably be busy with a newborn a lot of the time.

Around six AM, Corey went in to work, and I went downstairs for breakfast. When it was time to take Johnathan (Corey's younger brother who lives with us) to work, I was too tired, and the contractions were too strong. Malinda took him to work while I tried to get some more sleep. I managed to snooze a bit, but not much. Malinda got herself all turned around and kept calling for directions. Since I couldn't sleep, I went ahead and called the documentary producers so they could come over. I called Corey to come home as soon as he could.

I had time to tidy up and get my two year-old son, Corbin, ready for the day. Malinda returned home from taking Johnathan to work. Then the documentary producers arrived to film some of the labor. Corey was the last person to show up. When he got home, he and Malinda set up the birth pool. Meanwhile Corbin and I got in our swim wear. We stopped to take some pictures before going upstairs to get wet, the last pictures taken of me holding my oldest son before his brother was born.

The water was warm, but not nearly enough for me. We tried hooking up a valve we'd bought to quickly empty and refill the pool but couldn't get it to work, even after Corey went to the store for a sink adaptor. Corey and Malinda worked really hard repeatedly filling and dumping a large plastic container so we could put warmer water into the pool. The water slowly warmed up, and then it felt so good. As they worked I tried to just relax through the contractions, while Corbin splashed about, threw in toys, and hopped in and out--just having a blast!

Around then I asked the documentary producers to leave. I figured that the labor would be strong enough soon that I'd want to be alone with my family. The birth pool helped me cope with the strengthening contractions. After a while, though, the contractions slowed and became weak. I wrapped myself up in a warm robe, and we put Corbin into dry clothes. After a nice walk outside, I did some housework, pausing now and again to do what I needed to get through the contractions. They soon sped up and strengthened once more.

I got back in the birth pool, but this time Corbin didn't join me. Once again Malinda and Corey had to warm up the pool. The contractions were getting stronger, but they were still irregular. I'd have one five minutes after another, then the next would come 10 minutes later and then another immediately after that. One would be strong, the next sort of weak. I hadn't been sitting there long when I started to feel the first tingling of pressure. I gave gentle pushes with the next few contractions just to see if it made a difference. The results were a bit embarrassing; I won't go into detail.

The water was cooling down, and I didn't want to stick around in the birth pool. I moved to the bath tub, which filled with warm water much more quickly than it took to heat our pool. Within minutes I felt the baby moving down. I knew he was coming and that it was time. Before, I'd thought about not pushing--letting my body do the work on its own. Now, though, I wanted it to be over as soon as possible. I tried pushing with two or three contractions, but it was too difficult. I couldn't focus on breathing, coping with the contractions, holding myself up, and pushing all at once. I had to go lie down.

Laying down was the last position I thought I'd want to be in, given that I knew squatting opens your pelvis wider. Nevertheless, I felt so much better as I lay on my side in the bed. The relief was temporary, because my mood suddenly changed. It was time to get to work. With the next contraction, I felt myself beginning to lose control to the power of the labor. I think had to lose control somewhat to stay in control.

Corey kept letting my leg droop, and it was getting tired. I kept telling him to support it, finally snapping at him. I began to doubt myself, and I had to regain control of my thoughts. I told myself, out loud, something like "Remember how it felt SO good when Corbin's head was out, and then his little body wriggled right out with one more little push!" That gave me what I needed to finish the work.

With the next contraction, I started to push. My memory is a little foggy, but I think with that first one, I didn't accomplish much. I think I remember telling everyone the baby was coming. Corey was ready to play catch, and Malinda was filming. Corbin was sitting about two feet away watching with interest. I told him "Support it!" as the head started crowning, and I felt his hands on my perineum. That was a good guess on his part, but it wasn't what I'd meant. I said something like "No, the head, the head!" I was very sore down there, and he has long fingernails. I kept telling him not to put his hands on/in me, because it hurt. At one point I even cursed at him to move his fingers.

I pushed again as another contraction rushed over me. It was so intense. I wanted to stop, but everyone told me to keep going. I heard Corey's voice telling me to keep pushing, that he could see the head, that "she" was coming, that the head was almost out. I believed him, and it gave me the motivation I needed to keep going. I had to stop halfway to pant and catch my breath, but everyone kept encouraging me. I felt like I was going to split open! I pushed some more, and out came his head. I had never felt so consumed with excitement.

I felt such relief! Corey started encouraging me to push again to get the shoulders out, but I had to rest. I don't remember how long it was before the next contraction; time seemed to slow down. It was long enough for me to gather the strength I needed. Finally, the last contracted started. Corey encouraged me to keep pushing. Meanwhile, I was telling him to help the baby turn but not to force it, to let "her" guide him. It felt like we were working together, each of us doing our part. The shoulders seemed to take as long as the head to emerge, and again I felt like I would rip in two. Then finally it was over!

Orin started screaming right away. I immediately exclaimed "Where's my baby?!" I looked down and Corey had the baby on his back. The first thing I noticed was the gender. "Oh! You're a boy!" I exclaimed with amusement, as I held him up against my chest. Those first few minutes are a blur. I remember smiling, laughing, talking to him. I apologized for having been so loud and not maintaining as much control as I'd wanted. I'd yelled out during the birth, something I had wanted not to do, and I told him I was sorry. I'd wanted a very peaceful experience for him.

He calmed down after a bit enough to nurse and then fell asleep. I took some Motherwort, which I'd heard can prevent hemorrhage. I gave a few little pushes, and Corey caught the amniotic sac in a bowl. I pushed a bit more hoping for the placenta, but nothing happened. Malinda was concerned I might be bleeding too much, though the amount seemed the same to me as it was with Corbin. I took some Shepherd's purse nevertheless, and the bleeding slowed a few minutes later. Malinda was watching me for signs of shock. (She's an LPN.) I was shivering a bit and feeling a little weak, which happened after Corbin, too and also seemed normal to me. But, just in case, I took a caplet of rescue remedy, and I think that made me feel a bit better.

Malinda laid down by me, and Corey took pictures. Johnathan called needing a ride home, and Corey had to run up the road to get him. Corbin came over to see Orin. I had Orin on one arm, Corbin on the other. I asked Malinda to take a picture of me and my babies. As I said "babies" my voice cracked, and I started crying as I looked back and forth from one to the other. I couldn't believe that suddenly I had two children. I wept for a few minutes. I could feel my heart doubling in size.

I decided to take a bath, in hopes that walking around, standing, might make the placenta come out. Corbin watched as Malinda helped me. After a quick dip I sat over the toilet and gave a few pushes, but no placenta. Corbin pointed at me and said "mama," then he babbled something while pointing at Orin. Then he pointed down and said "Poof!" We were amazed. He was retelling the story of what had happened in his own little way. I couldn't believe he remembered that. Every now and then he still calls Orin 'poof!'

While I was in the tub, a guy from our mortgage company called; we were to close on a loan that day. I told him that I'd just given birth and that we'd have to do it tomorrow. He insisted we really had to get it done today, so I grudgingly agreed to send Corey along alone. When Corey got home with Johnathan, he hung around for a bit, then he left to go sign the loan paperwork. It turns out that the guy had thought I'd given birth on Saturday and was just getting home from the hospital. I didn't do a good job of explaining that I had JUST given birth!

Malinda helped me get dressed, which was tricky with Orin still attached by the cord! I went downstairs to sit on the couch. Soon Helen & Clio arrived, and Corey got home. Our neighbors came over unexpectedly and got to meet Orin. I gave Orin to Corey for a bit as we sat on the couch. Then Corbin sat on the couch with me and Corey, and we carefully handed Orin to him. He smiled so bright as he looked at and held his brother, and he was so gentle. It was such a sweet moment.

By then we figured the placenta wasn't going to come on its own, so we decided to cut the cord. We had wanted to wait a while longer, but it was difficult to do much with Orin attached to me. Corey tied it with shoestrings, and Malinda wiped it with an alcohol pad. Corey cut the cord, and we put a Band-Aid over Orin's end just to try and keep out bacteria. Corey then got to really hold Orin for the first time. We measured him with the tape they once measured Corbin with at the hospital. He measured 19". We weighed him on a fish scale, and he was roughly 7 1/2 lbss.

Eventually everyone left, and it was just family there again. We hung out for a bit longer then got ready to head to the hospital about the placenta. I had originally planned on leaving the baby behind, but I changed my mind. We left Corbin with Johnathan. The hospital visit wasn't fun but could have been worse; I consider that a separate story. It's kind of a drive out to the military hospital, and Corey and I both missed our exit on the way back. So our 'misadventure' took about 3 hours, but I was only at the hospital for an hour or so.

Corey ran by Sonic on his way home, and after dinner, we finally went to bed. When Corbin and Orin were both asleep I remember saying to Corey "Look, both our sons are sleeping!" As I lay there in bed with my family, I remember thinking how unbelievable and wonderful it was that we were all falling asleep in the same bed Orin had been born in just hours before. I feel like our bed and our home have a whole new history now, and I have more confidence in myself than ever before. After the most amazing day of my life, I fell asleep with my husband and sons, counting my blessings.