Unconditional Love: What Our Children Deserve

Superdork's autobiographical article Conditional Love: When Parents Give Up was both touching and thought provoking. It spotlights what should be a major concern in our - or any - society: the neglect of our children. Pardon me for a moment as I draw out my social-reform soapbox; it is a bit dusty as I am no activist, just highly opinionated.

We hear plenty of political mumblings when it fits their agenda - "children are our future" and there will be "no child left behind". How much attention is really given to the neglect of American children, though? Does it help children that they will not be let through our education system without learning, if they never even make it to school, if the issues facing them in real life are too much for them? Will education reforms reach those who are living an "after school special" rather then watching it in a safe, happy home?

Children don't ask to be born, no matter how much Pro-Life advocates may wish to believe that they do. Children have no say, no influence, no involvement in the process or decision of their conception and birth. This, to me, makes them Original Innocents, not steeped in Original Sin. As we are supposedly all given free will and they were not given the chance to exercise this right, any sin involved does not belong to the child.

Being Innocents who did not ask to be brought into life, children deserve so much. They deserve love, unconditionally; they deserve the best that they can be given. They deserve safety, support, and parents who want them. All these things are things that children should have. They may not be necessary, as countless children grow up without them to become happy and productive adults, but they are deserved, necessary or not. Even before conception, an important and serious decision needs to be made.

Potential parents - by which I mean not just those trying to have children, but anyone capable of and behaving in a manner that may lead to conceiving a child - have a huge responsibility. It is up to them to decide whether or not they are able and willing to provide a child with everything he or she deserves, which includes meeting the child's emotional needs. The potential parents must then take steps appropriate to their decision, such as avoiding conceiving, locating a suitable adoptive family, or preparing to raise a child. Unfortunately, this does not seem to be a thought process that everyone in our country engages in before behaving in a way that may lead to the conception of a child.

It is, and of course should be, beyond the capabilities of our government to prevent people from having children based on the inability or unwillingness to give their children what they deserve. It would be beyond ridiculous - in fact, beyond even Hitler's extremes - to expect the government to exercise control over its citizens reproductive abilities However, this is where our social programs need to pick up. Social programs are not beyond the scope of the government; they are a very important facet of the government's responsibilities. How can we be sure of the continuation of our country if we are not looking out for the welfare of the children who are its future? Superdork is right - children do deserve unconditional love and should never have to endure the sort of upbringing she described.

Isn't this why we have social services, social workers, counselors, truancy officers? Are they not there to find and rectify situations where children are not getting all that they deserve? We have a country full of Pro-Life advocates who are doing what they can to make sure every child conceived is giving the chance to have life. Where are the vocal supporters of ensuring quality of life for those who are born?

Social workers in this country are vastly over worked, and social service programs are often under funded. Children live, and often, to their credit alone, thrive, in situations that they should surely not have to endure. Yet Americans are more aware of the plights faced by children in far away countries, thanks to television ads, and "adopt a child for $1 a day" campaigns. We need to care as much about what happens to the children in our country as we do about whether or not they are allowed to be born.