Understanding the "Beer Goggle" Romance

The term "beer goggles" refers to the concept of finding someone much more attractive while drinking alcohol, than you normally would under other circumstances. You may not be that hung up on looks. But in the harsh light of the Official First Date, you might realize that your nightclub buddy is not quite your type. The Beer Goggle Romance is a tricky one. But if you are astute enough to see through your Hennessy haze, you can pinpoint the stages of this fascinating attraction.

SOBER

You're clear headed, a little too clear headed. In fact, you're a little self-conscious, under the impression that everyone in the entire establishment is aware that the outfit you're wearing doesn't quite fit the way it did on the mannequin. You need liquid courage and fast. You head to the bar and score a long-time favorite: a Long Island Iced Tea. (Feel free to insert your favorite cocktail here.) Just a few sips should take the edge off. Ahhhh, that's it. Alas, your arms and legs are feeling a bit more limber. Phase Two should not be far behind.

WARM

A few sips into the drink, you realize that you feel more tranquil. Friendly and talkative. You recognize this because the bartender has ceased the witty banter, and is giving you the "I'm busy" look. But by this time, a young man has begun chatting you up. He's not really your type. And your mood is, well-friendly. Things seem to be going along well. You're feeling confident and sexy. Perhaps a simple cocktail was all you needed to relax.

BUZZED

This is perhaps the most crucial (yet interesting) stage of the Beer Goggle process. For it is somewhere between Buzzed and Drunk that the edges of reality begin to fade away. This is when your cohort's visual metamorphosis begins before your very eyes. You don't even realize it. The confidence bequeathed by alcohol is still at this point, more important than actually getting a good look at your barstool companion. You continue to chitchat-amazed by your own wit.

DRUNK

Now this is where things get really interesting. Suddenly, his goofy verbal affect sounds slightly like a British accent. His badly scuffed shoes now have character (perhaps he's an artist-type.) And goshdarnit, are those dimples? By Golly-he's gorgeous! Why aren't any other girls clamoring for his attention? Oh well-it doesn't matter because he's talking to me! Yes, these are the thoughts racing through your mind as you coyly sip the Long Island out of your iced tea.

THE COLD SLAP

Maybe you've spent the evening dancing, drinking, and swapping witty repartee. As the effects of the cocktails begin to ebb out of your consciousness, your 20/20 vision slowly returns. Additionally, you become acutely aware of the fact that his jokes really aren't all that funny-with or without the "not-really-a-British-accent." You're wondering how you were attracted to this person. It's an icy-cold dash of reality to be slapped with. The problem with this final stage of the process is that it can take several minutes to several hours (or days?) to occur. Alas, the Beer Goggle Romance is a short-lived one, often followed by moments of remorse and embarrassment.

SOURCES:

www.urbandictionary.com
www.thefrisky.com
www.beergoggles.net