Understanding and Conquering Rumination

We've all been there. A co-worker didn't do her part of a project then blamed it on you in the staff meeting. Your partner flirted with "that woman" at a party last night in front of you and all the other party-goers. You just can't get it out of your mind. You think about it all day. And the more you ruminate about the matter, the more angry and frustrated you become.

What is Rumination?

You just keep replaying the event in your head. What did he say? What did she do? You ponder every aspect of how you were ignored, insulted, avoided, yelled at, disrespected, or whatever. During rumination, you might try to figure out what occurred and why. You think maybe you know the person's motives for doing whatever he did. Wait, maybe it was this other reason.

You're trying to reach a conclusion that's impossible to reach. You just can't know the motives of the other people involved, even though during rumination you might believe you've arrived at the explanation for the situation.

Complications of Rumination if Underlying Mental Health Issues are Present

If you're already someone prone to depression, rumination can trigger another depressive episode. Those who occasionally struggle with anxiety might experience a full-blown occurrence of worry and anxiety as a result of rumination, according to Kathleen McGowan at the Psychology Today website.

What Happens to all the Negative Energy Triggered by Rumination?

Although your life goes on, the remnants of your rumination lingers. When you get home from work, your 7-year-old son, Sam is begging you to play him a game on the PlayStation 3. Sam persists as usual. Unfortunately, this day, your anger left over from ruminating all day has now been provided with an outlet.

You say loudly and angrily, "Sammy! For heavens' sake, I just got home! Can you give me a minute?" Sammy, crushed by his father's frustration and anger, sulks away with a scared look in his eye. He looks dejected, sad and a little mad.

The backlash of rumination is that your negative feelings of frustration and anger will be displaced on another person, animal or thing that has nothing to do directly with your rumination. This means you'll direct your feelings toward an innocent person (like Sam), animal or thing instead of the real target of your anger and frustration.

How to Conquer Rumination to Avoid Displaced Negative Energy

Because rumination is more destructive the longer you do it, the key is to disrupt or interfere with the rumination as early in the process as possible. Since the way rumination works is to build and multiply negative feelings the longer you do it, figuring out a way to shut down the rumination is the way to go.

Method One-As soon as you recognize you're ruminating set a timer of some sort for 30 minutes. If at home, use the microwave timer. If you're out, set your cell phone timer for 30 minutes. At the end of the 30 minutes, tell yourself, "Okay, time's up. I'm done. I'm moving on with my day." Then make an effort to do just that. Although not all mental health experts support this method, it's worth a try.

Method Two-Use diversion. Actively switch gears to do something else that requires your brain power. Balance the checkbook. Get your head into a project at work. Do whatever you can to distract yourself. This way, you'll get your head into a completely different subject. Thus the rumination will stop.

Method Three-Encourage yourself to feel emotions counter to frustration, like happiness and excitement. Spend an hour planning that vacation you hope to take 6 months from now. Call your best friend to hear about the house she just bought. Drop in to see your parents and hear what's going on in their lives. Watch a situation comedy with your kids and partner. It's impossible to feel two opposite feelings at the same time, like anger and happiness.

Recognize the self-sabotage aspect and negative thinking involved in rumination stand to do more emotional damage to you than other people can do. Identify it for what it is, a negative thought pattern that leads to difficult situations unless you conquer it as soon as possible.

If you employ these methods yet continue to struggle with rumination, seek professional help through your physician, local mental health center or other health professional. Sometimes, talking out your ruminations with a neutral third party can bring relief from these troublesome thought patterns.

Sources

Professional experience

Psychology Today website, Learning Not to Lash Out by Kathleen McGowan